And Another

My Lenny (Ok Kel so he's yours too...haha) was born 25 years ago today. I am so proud of this kid who has grown to be an enjoyable young man......

Lenny, you can do anything that you want to do, be anything that you want to be, it is just in you.

I don't know if you remember this or not but on our way home from a hockey game out west one blizzardy (I know that's not a word but this is my blog!) night we went in the ditch and ended up spending the night in a church basement. The next morning David cooked breakfast for the nuns and you Lenny sat at the table with the nuns and chatted up a storm. You were all of maybe 11. It was then that I first wondered....'where did that come from' and I have wondered it many times since. I am often amazed at your abilities, your wisdom etc. I am so proud of you, of the man that you have become. It wasn't always easy for the two of us but I think it made us better people perhaps. I know that you know this, but your grandma loved you so much and she too was very proud of you. You Lenny are your grandma's grandson that is true, wear it proudly.

So having probably publicly embarrassed you with my sappy words I am now going to embarrass you with these wonderful pictures that I have of you growing up.

Your first Christmas with your first dog Sassy. Sas did not like kids but she was very protective of you.

Your first birthday...do you recognize the other kids?

First day of school. Ahhhh how many times did I forget you at school????

A mom always has to have a naked picture!

I dressed you so fashionably! This was one of our many vacations. You and I took a week's vacation every year either a camping trip or a winter getaway. This one was a union convention to ether LA or Miami.

Another birthday (one of many and there was always a party or two with lots of gifts...go figure!) Hey Michelle, you came to many of his birthday parties didn't you?

And just because you are so damned cute!

High school graduation picture.

Two of the women who helped make you who you are today. Doris Rush your 4th grade teacher who believed that you could do whatever you wanted to do. And your granny who also knew that you could do whatever you wanted to do, be whoever you wanted to be.

And look at you 25 years later...........

Happy Birthday Len

It's A Busy Couple of Months

Our family has birthdays all over the place as well as an anniversary.

Today is my dad's birthday, he celebrates 76 years of life. Yup he was born on Valentine's Day and his folks dubbed him Robert Valentine (seriously Valentine is his middle name).

A very happy birthday to you pop.

15 Years Ago Today

David and I piled our kids and my friend Mary M in the car and took the most boring trip ever (bet you kids just LOVED the ride!!) to Billings South Dakota and got married. We didn't pick Valentine's day because we are romantic.....not.....we picked that day because for some reason or another we both had the day off from work.

The story begins with both of us working at the State Hospital in StPeter. Neither of us knew the other but he would come to the unit that I worked on occasion to do maintenance work and I thought.....hummm he's a cute little fella!

One day I spied him at Cub Foods in the check out. I hurried up to get behind him and ATTEMPTED to strike up a conversation with him. As I remember he had chicken and steak that he was buying. I asked him if he was going to have a bar-b-que and said something to the affect that I loved bar-b-ques etc.....but he totally did not pick up on the hit. Hell I shoulda used a baseball bat I guess!

So I asked Wes and Howard (who I did know and who worked with him) if they knew him, was he single, what was he like etc. Both said very good things about him and I of course swore them to secrecy. Those two guys are worse than any female that I know. They could not wait to get back to the shop and tell David that I had been asking about him. It's probably a good thing that they couldn't keep it quiet.

He did show up one night when I was working at the bar in Nicollet and actually asked me out. He also told me that he had followed me around Cub Foods a couple of times (don't they call that stalking!) but never got up the nerve to say anything to me.

He is my soul mate, my very best friend and supporter. He has always been there for Lenny, my mom (she absolutly loved him and would have done anything for him), my dad and myself. I cant even find the words to describe what he means to me. Rachel and Ry you have a fabulous dad, Lenny a great step dad and I a wonderful husband.

So I publicly say, I love you and happy anniversary.

The Dance That We Do

As I was laying in the tanning bed today getting ready to go to much warmer climates in a few weeks I thought about the recent aches and pains that I have been experiencing.

My hips ache, I have headaches off and on, I get light headed at times and a week ago I did go to the doctor because I had had a heaviness in my chest and back.

All of this reminds me of the day that David rolled over in bed, looked at me with one eye closed and one open and said, "I'm getting to be like my mother and I hate it". By that he meant that everything had begun to ache.

So, I am sure that I must be at that rotten age myself but because I have had cancer we do the dance........is this a normal (isn't it wonderful what becomes normal as you grow older!!!!) ache or pain or is this something that we need to check out. I do know that all of the things that I have been experiencing recently......IF I had not had cancer I wouldn't think a thing of it.....I would just crab about getting older.

So, because I suppose it is better to be safe than sorry I will continue to do the dance. You know, I never did dance very well and I still don't!

OK, done dancing for today-gotta share a few pictures that I have taken in the past few days.

Tackla allows our dog Peeko to do almost anything with her including playing with her babies and sleeping in her bed. But this new dog of Jessica's (Jack), she just will not get used to him. It may be because he just is too young and playful to know that he should be submissive to her, he continues to pick at her and she does not like it. Here they are, Tack with her lip curled corralling him behind a chair at our house.

And Jack and Peeko, best friends laying on the couch. Peeko actually waits for Jack to come out in the morning, he continually looks out the window for him. Jess you HAVE to get up earlier.

And yesterday afternoon David and I enjoyed watching two pair of cardinal out our front window.

David actually took this one of the male and female in the tree...not bad I say!

Is it ever going to warm up?????

I Am Considering

Doing the three day race for breast cancer this summer. I am gathering information now to see if it is something that I want to do but I feel that I really need to do something. I am living proof of what the research funds have done to increase the life expectancy of breast cancer patients. Herceptin (the target chemo that I am currently taking) has only been given to the general public for the last couple of years and more treatments are on the horizon.

I post about this because if you are a person who does any donating during the year (I know many of my relatives do donate to cancer research), I would like you to consider donating to my three day run-if I do in fact participate in the event. I believe that a person has to raise $2200 to even participate in the three day. So IF I do decide to participate in this endeavor I will certainly let you all know.

http://www.the3day.org/site/pp.asp?c=pmL6JnO8KzE&b=2182503

This is the link for more information on the event. I am feeling that this is a challenge that I need to take on, something that I need to do to give back...I think I may just sign off and go register now. Oh I guess I best talk to David about it first huh? haha. What do you think friends and family?????

Well I Was Gonna Brag But.......

There was a benefit for the gal that I have been posting about. So I decided to be brave and donate a framed picture that I have taken for the silent auction. My worst fear was that no one would put a bid on the picture and I would feel oh so stupid and then I thought oh what the hell, a buck is a buck and even if it brings a dollar it is better than nothing huh?

When David and I walked into the benefit Jessica excitedly told me that there was a $50 bid on my picture! I couldn't believe it actually but it felt pretty good it did.

So on with the story. Later on the original bidder crossed off her $50 bid and put a $20 bid in instead. Apparently others thought that it was a tacky move and they themselves did some bidding on the picture. Now I have heard two varying accounts of what the picture actually brought in the end. My sister in law Kelly thought it was $27 but one of the organizers of the benefit thought it was $50-$60. So I still am not sure what the picture brought, but again, it went for a good cause and I am sure every little bit helps.

Here is the picture that I donated. I took this in Arizona and may have posted it in one of my Arizona trip report posts. It is of a Yucca tree (is that right Rachel and Melvin) that we saw driving through the desert. It is an 8x10 framed and matted-the glare is from me taking a picture of the picture!

She's Encouraging Them On

Lenny and Kelly are in the middle of a mess but in the end it will be so very nice. After mom passed Len and Dad swapped houses and Lenny is in mom and dad's old house. The house was built in 1976 or so and had never been updated. Let's see if I can take you down memory lane (many can remember this as my friends and I spent a lot of time at this house cuz everyone loved my momma). The carpet in the main section was brown and gold and an industrial type nap. In the dinning room was gold shag carpet with absolutely beautiful (not) wall paper on the walls. The bathroom had pink shag carpet with pink sink toilet and counter top and to top it all off the walls were done in pink textured wall paper. The living room had gold shag carpet and some sort of textured wall paper. And then there is the kitchen. It had black and white square linoleum, very dark oak cabinets, green (yes I said green) counter tops and walls-walls were covered with some product or another much like paneling. What wasn't wall papered was covered in very dark colored paneling and throughout were dark rough wood covered beams.

There was a sunken 'fire pit' (Karen you remember that....I have a picture somewhere of you passed out on the couch in the fire pit!) that had brown shag carpet and a built in seating area covered in white and brown striped upholstery. Behind that was a wet bar that was covered in brown shag carpet as well. (oh man lots of time was spent with friends and family at that bar!)

Upstairs are two bedrooms and a nice large bathroom. Before the remodeling they were covered in shag carpet and textured wall paper walls (green and brown). The kids replaced the carpet in the bedrooms and put down tile in the bathroom, they also put in a new tub and toilet and stripped off the wallpaper and painted.

The basement had never been finished, it was Lenny's first project. He (and some friends) put up sheet rock and painted. It is now a livable space.

And then the outside. In the front were brick pillars and overgrown shrubs. David and I helped them yank out the shrubs, knock down and dispose of the pillars and replace the shrubs with much smaller ones.

First of all I just know that mom would have been so pleased to know that Lenny is living in her house. She loved that house and being in that area. And even though she was resistant to changing color schemes etc she would be pleased to see how nice it has become.

So Len when you feel overwhelmed by the project and stressed a bit, think of your granny silently encouraging you on and being ever so happy that you are in the house.

A picture of the demolished kitchen. They are having cabinets custom made by my cousin Curt Krohn.

A view from the front entry of the house through the kitchen and into the dinning room. There was a wall between the kitchen and dinning room with a doorway only. Len and Kel have opened the two rooms up which I think looks very nice.

Looking from the front entry towards the family room. To the far left was the bar, the near left is the fire place area that was sunken (they raised the floor to make it more open). You get a sample of the old carpet here...that will be replaced. In the future they are going to replace the bar as well but re-design it. The steal pole was once covered with that rough dark stained wood. They are going to box them in with a more up to date something or other.

From the family room looking up at the second floor. They tore out the old staircase and railing and are replacing it. You can see, in all of the pictures, that they have removed all of the paneling. They are going to have it all taped and then paint.

Here is what was once the pink bathroom. The picture does not do this justice as it looks beautiful with the updates.

When the entire project is completed I will post pictures. But for now I just wanted to do this to encourage Len and Kel as it is absolutely no fun to live in a remodeling project....you guys are doing a great job and it will be wonderful when done.

This Hair

What am I gonna do with em they are driving me nuts! Too bad my old co-worker Paula doesn't read this as she always gave me grief for referring to my hair as 'em' like a person...she says it's hair not a person!

Anyway....what to do...grow it out, cut it again, what what what do you guys think anyway! It is now in the 'I hate it' stage. What am I talking about, the only time I LIKED my hair is right before I found out that I was going to loose it!

Well it is now getting curly and unruly and is of course too short to 'do anything' with but just long enough to look shaggy. And being the fashion expert that I AM NOT I need help. Oh it was much easier being bald-but much colder!

LOL remember the look.....still had the eyebrows here!

Now remember I have a wedding to look good for (OK to look presentable for!) which is why I am freaking about this hair!

Speaking of the wedding I did finally find a dress-yes I will wear a dress. And this is not a sundress but is an off the shoulder not at all like me elegant but not flashy dress! AND it is actually comfortable, a must for me! I just now need to find someone to shorten it and hopefully make a shawl type thing that will cover my port for pictures.

By the way, David will be sporting a tux....me in a dress and David in a tax all in one place. A sight to see to be sure!

Back to the hair. Do I keep trimming them do I just let EM alone looking shaggy and grow....what what what. Jan you got any ideas?

More good news for my type of cancer

On my way to my infusion yesterday I again saw the gal that has recurred that I talked about previously in the 'Life Slaps You In The Face' post. This time I had a chance to say hello to her and gave her a hug. After she left I had to hold back tears and I didn't realize how difficult it is to actually know someone and see them (I will be seeing her weekly) and know that their prognosis is not good. Shit it's scary it is so damned scary. I will not be dwelling on recurrence I don't think but it really brings to light that it certainly could happen. So I search the message boards and blogs for good news to counteract the fear that sometimes wells up and overcomes me. I also know that this happens to most everyone as they near the end of their treatments. While you are going through treatment you are battling the disease weekly with infusions. Once those are done it may feel as if you are no longer doing anything to fight. That is not true of course because the treatments have done their work but it is a true fear that we survivors have.

I hesitate to even put this in writing because the last thing that I want is for my family to worry about my emotional health but I need to use this board to get it out and so I am. Please don't worry about me but allow me to vent.



These two posts were on the cancer blog that I frequent and certainly do back up what my oncologist tells me in regards to my prognosis. I have HER 2 cancer and am taking both Herceptin and Tamoxifen.

One of my last year's flower bed flowers

Another attack on HER2 comes in form of vaccine
Posted Jan 6th 2007 10:00AM by Jacki DonaldsonFiled under: Breast Cancer, Drug, Research, Daily news
There are sometimes silver linings to the darkest of cancer clouds. I know -- because I have the dark cloud of HER2 positive breast cancer hanging over my head. HER2 positive means the tumor removed from my breast was aggressive. It aggressively over-expressed a protein that accelerates tumor growth. And it led to a poor prognosis -- that might be considered a good one too.You see, research on the whole HER2 issue is turning up some pretty powerful potions. Like Herceptin -- the drug that miraculously cuts recurrence upwards of 50 percent for positive women like me. I was a lucky recipient of this drug. And the pharmacist who mixed the drug for all 17 of my infusions tells me it's really a good thing I have this HER2 problem -- because the drugs created to attack the problem may just cure me of my disease.So in an odd turnabout -- from bad luck to good fortune -- I am not so sad my tumor was aggressive. It means there are bonus treatments for me. And if my cancer comes back and Herceptin no longer works, there is another drug called Tykerb. And now the Army is leading its own breast cancer vaccination study. The focus -- HER2.Early study results from Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, D.C. suggest a 50 percent reduction in disease recurrence for HER2 positive women who receive a vaccination of AE37.AE37 targets HER2 and boosts the body's immune system so it can battle the protein before it stimulates growth. It's similar to Herceptin, but the activity of AE37 stimulates a patient's own immune system to recognize the cancer target rather than interacting with the target directly.Should the Food and Drug Administration decide to support this study, it will proceed to Phase 3 testing, which includes a much larger pool of participants.

A star fish Brent found while in Isla last year






Tamoxifen reduces the risk of developing cancer for years following treatment
Posted Jan 4th 2007 2:00PM by Kristina CollinsFiled under: Breast Cancer, Drug, Prevention, Cancer Pre-vivors
Results presented at the 2006 annual San Antonio Breast Cancer Symposium, says that it appears Nolvadex (tamoxifen) reduces the risk of developing cancer years following completion of preventative therapy among women who are at high risk of developing breast cancer.
Data from a clinical trial, including 7,145 women who were at high risk for developing breast cancer, was reevaluated at 10 years follow up. They found that breast cancer was reduced by 29 percent among women treated with tamoxifen compared to those taking the placebo. The preventative effect on breast cancer, specifically hormone-positive breast cancer, was actually improved at 10 years compared to the five-year follow-up.
The researchers concluded that women who are at high risk of developing breast cancer continue to benefit from tamoxifen, even five years following completion of treatment.
Talk to you doctor if fall in the high risk group for breast cancer. There are individual risks and benefits for tamoxifen and it may prevent physicians from recommending its use in certain women.

So having gotten that off of my chest......on a lighter note...David look whose sleeping on our couch!

And this is the dog who has her own bedroom with her own full size people bed. Now apparently she has her own couch as well!

Wonder who has the run of the house in this family...could it be the dogs.......used to be you kids guess you have been replaced....haha.

Nothing Left To Steal

Is what the sign said and apparently it worked! Before we left the last time David tacked this sign to the cabin door. No one seems to have entered the property while we were gone thank goodness.

The sign was originally thought of out of frustration but then it became humorous and is still on the door of our cabin!

We pulled into our property Friday at about 11am to find it cold cold cold! Turned the two little electric heaters on and left for the day so it could warm up. When we came back later in the day it was still cold but good ole David decided we would tough it out and do some work (Mikey I know you are feeling sorry for me...I just know it!). It was so danged cold that when Lenny called me I was shivering while I talked to him. At that point I think David took pity on me and we headed back to the hotel. Saturday morning it was nice and toasty inside. We spent the weekend sealing the walls and ceilings in the spare bedroom and the kitchen/dinning room and stripping coat after coat of shellac off of the floors.

It's damned hard work for a couple of stiff old folks like us! We used heat guns to soften up the shellac and then 'peeled' it off with scrapers. Next time we are there we will use a product to get the residue off, then wash the floors with paint thinner and then sand!

We were both aching whining messes at night. Our hands hurt, our backs hurt oh it was bad but it sure felt good to get it done. We called Lenny to tell him of what we thought was a GREAT accomplishment and he said 'Oh well we got our stairs tore out and rebuilt'! So no sympathy coming from him I guess.

On the way up Friday I caught the most beautiful sunrise and perhaps the most vibrantly colorful picture I have ever taken. This is on Howard Lake as the sun rises.

And a bit closer of the mist rolling off of the open water.

And in Walker the mist as it rolls off of the open water there.

On the way home we passed by Mil Lacs Lake. This picture does not do justice but it looked like the frozen tundra that goes on forever.....it looked cold. Didn't seem to bother the ice fisherman though.

Is it spring yet??????? Peeko and I are cold, well I'm cold until I have a hot flash anyway!

Nothing at all to take pictures of

Our friends Mikey and Jan were just home for Christmas and couldn't wait to "get out of this godforsaken state"!


Mikey and Jan are 'fulltimers'. They live in their motorhome and travel the countryside. They love the life that they began last winter and they have gotten terribly spoiled in regards to the weather. They have in fact become pansies and whine about our cold weather....they now sport a tan all year long lucky devils that they are!

There they are tan as can be with their grandson.

So, I am beginning to agree with Jan. Her and I are both amateur photographers and I am finding nothing, not one thing interesting these days to take pictures of. So since it is cold out with snow on the ground I am going to post a few pictures of warmer climates and bright colors.

A very colorful wild flower on our property last summer.

The beach on our favorite island in Mexico. We will be there again on February 22nd....can't wait! You can walk out for quite a way before it gets deep. The water is warm and a beautiful blue and the sand is absolutly white. Ummm I can feel it now between my toes. Our island (I say that like we own it......) is 1 mile wide by 6 miles long and each side and point is different. One side is windy and rocky, I can spend hours crawling on the rocks looking for shells and playing in the waves. The other side that faces Cancun is very calm but has sea grass in the water. The north tip is the beautiful beach and the south point is rocky and windy. The food on the island is great especially if you get off the beaten path into the colonials (where the people actually live). Isla M is an old fishing village that is slowly (much to our dismay) becoming more commercial. It was my mom's favorite spot to vacation with us. We have also gotten our neighbor and friend Jessica, my cousins Shelly and Sharon and my Aunt Etta and my son and his fiance Lenny and Kelly addicted to this little slice of heaven.

And an isla sunset.

This weekend we go back to the northland to work on the old floor of the cabin. We have hopefully not gotten broken into again. Although I dont know why anyone would - there is nothing left to take. If (and that is always a big if) the sun is shining I hope to take a drive or two and take some new pictures.

Life Slaps You In The Face

At my infusion appointment today I saw a lady from our town who had had breast cancer and gone through treatment a few years back. I had heard that it had recurred and today she was receiving treatment once again. She is around my age-perhaps a bit younger. I have no clue what type of breast cancer she had or if Herceptin was available and an option for her cancer...but boy seeing her there certainly gave me reason to pause.

Even though I am very positive and am sure I can beat this thing, once and a while it crops up that yes it could come back the devil that it is. Seeing her today certainly brought it right to a head. It's pretty damned scary. But I guess we never know, do we, about anything.

Having voiced that thought, I really don't think that it will come back (so don't be worried friends and family that I am going down that negative path) but I do know that it could and if it does we will deal with that too and it will be OK.

Jessica and her friend and Jean and I took the dogs to the off leash dog park in Kato this week to enjoy the wonderful weather. What a great place these off leash dog parks are. Look at Peeko's ears when he plays with Jack. They fly in the wind...

And then poor little Peeko gets cold (or sucks Jean into thinking he's cold).

What a baby...gotta love em!

Happy New Year To You All

I can hardly believe that it is already 2007! I need to wish Ryan and Jen (our son and daughter in-law) a happy anniversary. They were married 2 years ago last night. Happy anniversary you two.

Cabin update-David finished hanging the new ceilings in the spare bedroom and the kitchen/dinning rooms. Now all ceilings are complete. I stripped numerous layers of shellac off of the floor in the spare bedroom, cleaned it and it is now ready to be sanded. Our next trip up we will strip the floor in the kitchen/dinning room and get it ready to sand. After that David says the 'big work' is really done. We still have to get a boiler hooked up and water running in the cabin but he says that's not such a much.......whatever, he's the guy doing it not me!

SO, soon we will have a spare room for anyone that DARES to come visit us in the northland! I don't know, we've been broken into up there three times and were robbed once in Mexico.....do you see the black cloud? I am actually laughing, what else can you do but laugh?

No new news on recovering our stolen items although we did talk to a fella who goes by the name of Chopper White and is a tribal leader of some sort (I don't even pretend to understand how it all works on the reservation!). We were lead to Chopper by a resident of Longville. Chopper did say he would find out who broke in so we shall see how that pans out.

I did get a few good pictures of an eagle. This fella was in the same area two days in a row and he was kind enough to take flight for me when I whistled at him.

Here he is fluffing his wings ready to go.....it's pretty amazing how these huge birds can perch on the very tips of trees. Maybe even more amazing is me driving around on my own in the northland with my camera on my lap looking at the tree tops......and not going in the ditch...too funny!

And off he goes. I DID stop the car to take these pictures or I would have been in the ditch.

While it was raining at home we were getting snow in the northland. I love how it sits on the evergreens.