WTF

Yup I say WTF......we were hit again on Wednesday night. They came back for the air compressor......WTF anyway huh?

We have talked to the neighbors surrounding us and have suspicions about a few. It sounds like that because of the population around here the Cass County Sheriff's dept really doesn't do much of anything in cases like this. Drugs are very wide spread in the population and folks do not have the means in which to get their drugs (no one works) so they steal. Go figure huh?

Now I am angry, in fact I am GD mad. I no longer feel safe. When it gets dark I drive with the damned car doors locked. WTF.

Well it's snowing out today and it's beautiful. Perhaps the dogs and I can walk in the woods and get a few nice pictures........maybe then I will feel better.

To be continued.........

So the plan was

The day after Christmas David and I (and the dogs) headed for the northland in our separate vehicles at 6am. The sunrise was beautiful and we were so looking forward to getting back to our little piece of heaven.

The plan was that I would stop at the hotel to get us registered, David would go on up to the cabin to get the heat on and then come back to the hotel for lunch. As I was nearing the hotel something told me to continue on to the cabin rather than stop at the hotel first. I was ahead of David so got to our property first. As I neared the driveway a very large hawk or an eagle that was not yet matured (did not have a totally white head) was hovering at the end of the driveway and I thought, hummm that's strange. Well strange had only begun! When I turned in the first thing that I noticed was that our cable going across the drive was down. Driving up cautiously (I have learned to trust my instincts) I saw the door of the shed open but there were no tracks in the snow. I found that someone had broken into our shed and stole a number of things. One of them was my (yes mine not David's!!!!) 4-wheeler

OK so David's 4-wheeler is being stored at Lenny's which is why it didn't get taken...minor detail....

The most awful of all the things that were taken were the kitchen cabinets that David had lovingly built last winter for the cabin. Those make me want to cry.....or strangle whoever did this to us! Come to think of it I like strangle better!!

They also broke into the cabin through the front door taking tools and various items.

So rather than working on the cabin, yesterday was spent with the County Sheriff (who found footprints in the dirt in the shed, one pair seemingly a woman's as the boot was smooth on the bottom and foot very narrow with a heel-certainly not mine!) and then off to town to buy another saw so we can work today.

We are hoping that these people will be caught because they took our trailer (which is homemade and very recognizable) and of course the 4-wheeler should be able to be spotted. But then again perhaps not.

And so it goes.....

And a very nice Christmas it was

This was an odd year for David and me as his two kids (and their spouses) were not able to be home for the holidays and Lenny and Kelly flew to Michigan to spend time with her family for Christmas Eve.

Christmas Eve found David and myself on our own and off to Mistake (yes MISTAKE) Lake Casino. I did have a great time playing the 2 and 5 cent machines and played a long time on my $40. David, he didn't do so well. You know, I don't know why I thought that perhaps Mom would bring me some luck from above (she was the lucky one at the casinos) because when she was alive and we would go.......sitting right next to her I would get nothing and she would hit it big. That lucky streak ran right past me and went to Lenny dang it!

Christmas Day was family day and it was nice. David's mom and sis, Lenny and Kelly and my pop were able to be at our house. We had the traditional ham (David's mom makes me ham every year because I love it and it is the only time that I get it) but this year I made something other than turkey. I did a beef loin in the oven and it was fabulous. The day was relaxing and full of good food and family.

I hope your day was enjoyable as well.

How Lucky I was

December 24th 2001
Just 5 short years ago, if you were dignosed as HER2+, your oncologist would tell you "your cancer is aggresive and your prognosis is poor". If you were stage I to III, you had to wait for a recurrence before he would give you Herceptin. There was a myth that it caused heart attacks. In 2001, if you were diagnosed with brain mets, your survival was measured in months. There was very little information on HER2, Herceptin, or metastatic breast cancer on the internet.Today, thanks to dedicated researchers we have turned the corner. Women who are HER2 positive now have a better prognosis than those that aren't. Tykerb another targeted therapy drug should be approved by the FDA in February. Great strides in HER2 vaccines are being made at Walter-Reed Medical Center and at the University of Washington. There are many new compounds in the laboratory ready to enter Phase I trials.

The above was posted on one of the message boards that I frequent. It is amazing how far the treatment of my type of breast cancer has come. I am HER2+ as well at Estrogen and Progesterone positive. After I had my mastectomy my surgeon told us that I was both lucky and unlucky. Unlucky because I had one of the most aggressive cancers but lucky because new treatments, very good treatments, had just been developed. I am currently receiving the Herceptin that they talk about in the above.

Yet another reason to be thankful.

I am not crazy

Last night was the chemo brain web conference. Both David and I listened to it. Featured was an oncologist and a breast cancer survivor (who also suffers from chemo brain).

Most oncologists do not recognize this as a symptom of chemotherapy and I have quit talking about it to mine as he does not recognize it either. I do not fault him for it, it just is not a widely studied thing as of yet. However, the featured onc during last night's presentation is doing PET scans of the brain in patients who have received chemotherapy which do in fact show differences in the brains metabolism as people are going through chemo. It is like having a MUGA test done periodically (that is the test I get to see if my heart is functioning OK during treatment). If this becomes a standard practice, you can get a baseline PET scan and periodic scans during treatment. If your scan shows changes you could forseeably (is that a word???) choose an alternate treatment OR at least feel better in that yes you are suffering from chemo brain.

I need to tell you that tears ran down my face while listening to this conference...SERIOUSLY. I know and David knows that I am just not right but it has not been recognized by the medical profession. The cancer is gone, I am through the hardest of the treatments and therefore I should be back to my old self.....NOT.

What I feel is I would guess like someone who has a brain injury may feel (forgetfulness etc) or someone who has had a stroke may feel (know what you want to say but the words don't come etc) or someone who has alzheimers may feel (I did not put that there I KNOW I didn't put it there but yes I did!). I used to multi task, was a fabulous multi tasker and did my job very very well...plus kept up the house. Now I cannot even imagine learning a new job skill. Most ads talk about being able to work in a fast paced environment. To even think about it overwhelms me, I wonder how in the hell I could do it! That's what scares me the most. At home David and I laugh about it (once again thank goodness for understanding husbands) but in any other environment I just don't know.

Now I also am aware that my age and the fact that I am in menopause does not help these symptoms. And I am thankful for the chemotherapy, would not have done anything differently. I just feel relieved in knowing that SOMEONE in the medical field, and an oncologist at that, is recognizing this symptom.

Stats show that about 10-80 percent of the people suffer from chemo brain. AND, the worst cases seem to be those of us with breast cancer because of the specific chemo cocktails that we get (AC-Taxol then Tamox and Herceptin or drugs of the same sort). Some get better totally, some recover partially and others do not, they suffer with it always. After last night's web cast David said we will make quite a pair in the northland, one with chemo brain and the other with Alzheimers lost in the woods. But we wont care...kids just come visit us once and a while will you????

If you are interested at all in listening to the webcast (it is an hour long) you can do so my clicking on the link that I provided in a previous post, they will replay it.

So again, just having this acknowledged is a large help to me, I am tearing up as I type...frigging cancer anyway damn it to hell!!!!!!!!!! (Hey I think that's healthy isn't it to get angry once and awhile???)

Gotta close with something pretty. The beautiful wild flowers on our property up north.



Love ya all and Happy Holidays.

I Own IT-IT Does Not Own Me

It being of course breast cancer. Way in the beginning I decided that this beast was not going to own me, control me. I am taking charge.

So, since I happen to own it I can do whatever I want with it right? Well this year I decided that I would decorate my tree with the pink ribbons that signify breast cancer, frosted balls, white lights and a bit of tinsel. I think it's quite nice and sort of fun. What do you think Lenny, is it better than the ones that I have had that YOU say look like I rolled them down a hillside? For a few years I would go into the fields and woods collecting weeds to decorate my tree with. Apparently Lenny didn't see the beauty in those trees...haha.

The first picture shows the top of the tree. Under the angle is a BC ribbon ornament that
Kelly S gave me last year and was the inspiration for the tree this year.

And the full tree

And the tree at night

Thanks to my neighbor Chrissy for helping me string the lights. David used to do this for me (I hate it and I suck at it) but he quit on me dang it! You know there is a knack to it, one that I learned this year and it looks oh so much better. You don't just go around and around the tree you go from the inside of each branch to the outside of each one (or almost each one)! 50 years old and just learning how to put lights on a Christmas tree!!!!

Happy Holidays to all of my friends and family.

And oh I have to say happy 21st birthday to Krystin G, my cousin Shelly's daughter, happy birthday to you.

Day three-the Grand Canyon

The weather was cool so we weren't able to hike down into the canyon like we had wanted to....next time. This place is too beautiful to describe, pictures will have to do.

It's always an adventure when with my husband!

As we had our own private tour guide (Melvin) we were able to see sights and learn a few tid bits that we would not otherwise have learned. On our second day we drove through a canyon, Canyon Dechelly. Most people drive around the upper rim and look down, not us, we drove through the canyon. David had upgraded our rental from a little 4 banger car to a Jeep Larado with 4 wheel drive and it was a good thing as the terrain was interesting in the canyon. This is a view of just a few of the 'gullies' that we drove through.

And the only wildlife that we saw in the canyon...man this was a big bull!

And our veiw as we drove through the canyon, quite impressive.

Years ago, our private guide tells us, the Anasazi (meaning the ancient ones) people lived in this canyon. Below is a picture of the communities that they lived in. These shelters are high up in the mountainside and one wonders how building them was possible.

They also told stories with these hieroglyphics. Again, these are written high up on the mountainsides!

And a picture of a ceremonial hut that the native americans use. It is called a Hogan and the doors always face east.

Now with so much to look at one can understand why our driver.....David.....has a difficult time keeping his eye on the path. While driving out of the canyon (thank goodness we were driving out not in!) we all were tossed around in the Jeep because David had hit something and hit it good. He had hit a very large stump with the left front tire.... damaging the rim and flattened the tire. Now remember we are in a canyon, cell phone service is non existant. Thank goodness we were close to coming out of the canyon and close to a town. David and Melvin got the tire changed and the rim banged back to almost normal and Rachel and I laughed for a good long time. I had to get a picture of the only injury that was incurred. David was bounced around so hard that he hit the top of his head on the roof of the Jeep...see the red mark?

After our canyon tour we were invited to Melvin's mom's for a traditional native american meal of mutton stew, bread (which was like our pita bread), steamed vegetables and mush. The meal was fabulous and Melvin's mom is a great host. Melvin's family works very hard at holding onto the old ways. He and his mom speak to each other in their native dialect, Melvin has built a sweat lodge and they have a ceremonial lodge (a Hogan). It is a very peaceful place.

BUT, getting to her house was no picnic. It seems that we brought the Minnesota weather with us as the day started out sunny, it then began to rain, then sleet and finally snow.

The storm as it made it's way towards us.

And the snow as it came down.

And last but not least, a cool looking tree with it's knarled trunk that Melvin spotted.

Off to Sedona Arizona we went

Being lucky enough to have a daughter and son in-law living in this wonderful state we thought we had better get out to visit them.

Rachel and Melvin live in Sedona, a very beautiful place indeed! Arriving early in the day we rented a car and drove from Phoenix to Sedona where Rachel and Melvin had our first 'test' waiting. We took a hike up Cathedral Hill, a two hour hike up at that (David is sure that it was more like a 3 hour hike!) And of course I was carrying my camera in one hand while trying to maintain balance and hike up up up all at the same time. I will have you know that I not only did it but was able to get some great pictures as well.
The above picture is looking at Cathedral rock from about our hiking starting point. It was a long ass way up but well worth it.

Yes David we DO go to the top of this hill...well not to the very top but we did hike to the flat part that just at the bottom of the rocks that go straight up. We had already hiked about an hour at this point.

Up up up keep going gramps.

And from the top one of many beautiful views. It was a fabulous day and felt good to get some exercise in after a long day in airports and airplanes.

And another fun view through the trees.This picture is on the way to Sedona from Phoenix. It was my first.....'stop stop I need to get that picture'. Our friends Mikey and Jan know what that is like. Jan is a picture taker too and Mikey the driver. Jan and I tend to utter the above phrase frequently while on road trips. Road trips do take much longer when you have a camera in hand!

Day two in Sedona brought quite the adventure and I will blog about that later......stay tuned!

Someone seems to be intruding

Below the Etta entry and another one in the archives someone has posted about working from home and giving a website to look at. I have not clicked on the given website and do not recommend that any does. I do not know who this person is who is doing this so do not trust the source. I think there is a way for me to monitor all entries prior to them being published and if this intrusion continues I may do that.
So don't open the website folks.

One cannot take the place of the other but.....

Today Jessica adopted a 10 week old puppy who will never 'take the place' of Pixie, but will make his own place in her heart and her life (and ours as well).


Miles came from an agency called homeward bound rescue, website: www.homewardboundrescue.com

He is an adorable little guy who is a golden retriever poodle mix. This new breed is called a golden doodle (I think!!!!). Of course as it was with Pixie, it will be with Miles, he will spend a lot of time here and has already 'taken over' the place!

In the past I have blogged about our dog Tackla who is a pack dog and is a dominate lady. She has her own bedroom with her own bed and a basket full of her babies that she protects. She has been a sport over the years in accepting whoever we may throw into her life. First it was Pixie, then came Peeko and now Miles. Tack wasn't too sure about Miles at first, but as is shown by this picture........he has wormed his way into her heart as well.
This is Miles laying in Tackla's basket bed, something that she doesn't even let Peeko do!!!!
Right by Miles' foot is a bone that he took from Peeko. This is what I mean by he has taken over the place!

Happy birthday to my Auntie

My Aunt Etta turns 70 this very day, Happy Birthday to you Etta. In fact this year not only is she celebrating 70 years of life but her and her husband Roger celebrated 50 years of marriage. Quite the year for the couple. This is a picture of Roger, Etta and their two daughters at the 50th anniversary party this past summer. Shelly is on the left and is my computer illiterate cousin. HOWEVER she is actually able to access this blog and does make comments on it so pretty impressive I say. Sharon is on the right and NEVER reads her email (something that I always give her grief about).

My mom and Etta were quite close as sisters. In fact, the two traveled with David and I to warm destinations in the winter for a number of years. Many many memories were made on these trips.

Our first trip as a foursome was to our favorite little island Isla Mujeres. Mom and Etta spent a week with us (David and I were there 10 days). They disliked leaving so much that they never ever spent only a week again, it was 10 days from then on. Below is a picture of the first of many trips, mom and Etta were leaving to go home after their week was up.

David and I took these two ladies to destinations such as Zihuatinajo (sp?), Ambergris Caye in Belize and of course back again and again to Isla Mujeres. Etta always wondered what David and I wanted with those two older ladies along on our vacations.....my oh my you just couldn't beat the fun that we had! Our very first trip out we spent the night in a hotel as our plane left at 6am the next morning. We shared a room, David and I in one bed and Etta and mom in the other. Poor David got no sleep as Etta and mom (and I) giggled the entire night. I looked over at one point to see mom holding something that she had picked up from the night stand in front of her face trying to read it....IN THE DARK. First of all, my mom was not a reader and second her vision was certainly not good enough to read in the dark. The two were just like kids excited to go on their first vacation.

While in Belize we rented a golf cart to explore the island. We had driven down some path or another quite a long way. The damned cart gave out on us and we ended up pushing it for a bit of course giggling and laughing the entire time.

Most of our vacation time was spent laying in the sun, eating or playing cards. Poor Etta got so tired of loosing to my husband that she quit playing with him AND came up with a very good nickname for him. OK so it's my blog I can say what I want right...she dubbed him 'peckerhead' because she was so frustrated with loosing to him.

Before my mom passed Etta and her went on a sister's only vacation to the Black Hills. It was a memorable trip for both I am sure. They took my cousin Sharon's cell phone along in case they had car problems etc. Now, neither of these two ladies had ever used a cell phone before and had no clue how they worked. Since Etta was the driver it was mom's responsibility to take care of the cell phone. The thing would ring and of course mom couldn't hear it (not only were her eyes bad but the hearing was as well!!!) so Etta had to tell her that it was ringing and then mom would have to dig in her purse to try to find the thing. IF they would get the phone answered before it went into voice mail all one could hear was the two of them giggling.

So, happy birthday to you my dear Aunt. May you have many many more.

An interesting teleconference

In the past I have posted about the ramifications of this disease, one of which is the chemo brain that I know I have, however it is not widely recognized as a side affect as yet. I came across this Health Talk website to find that they are doing a video conference on December 19th about chemo brain. I have attached the web link if you are interested. It is free, you view it on your computer and I think it will be very interesting.
http://www.healthtalk.com/cancer/programs/14_671/index.cfm#FormTop

Well we spent last weekend at the cabin and worked too hard to even take a picture taking drive. But on the way home, at Howard Lake, I spotted this eagle sitting in the tree right on the road side. I prefer to get them in flight but this guy would not move. David even beeped his horn at him but he was sitting tight!

The cabin progresses. This past weekend David got the interior walls completed in the extra bedroom (long ago dubbed Jessica's room because she spent many weekends sitting around the campfire with us) and we started on the ceiling of that room. It will feel good to have one room actually completed. After the ceiling is up I will then strip the floor. I did strip the floor in our closet and it really looks very nice!

I have to share......I have now had three haircuts but today was the very first style. Now remember that my picture taker is David...poor David has never aspired to be a photographer! Anyway, the new do is fun. BUT I will never get it to look like this tomorrow.

And I have never aspired to be a model for god's sake!!!!! It is a good thing that I am the one behind the camera.

Much to give thanks for

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/Herceptin/BR00012

The above link is one that my daughter in law (Jen Ry's wife) sent to me. It explains the type of cancer that I have so that even I can understand it and the treatment that I am currently on-Herceptin.

I am surprised in reading this that I was able to go on Herceptin since it is now just being approved for early stage HER2 positive cancer. The article states that prior to this it was approved for people who's cancer had spread to other areas (metastatic) breast cancer. Although my cancer is (was) very aggressive it had not yet spread any further than the fatty tissue surrounding it, so thank goodness anyway for me!

I remember both the surgeon and the oncologist saying (as I am sure you do too David and Lenny) that my cancer was one of the most aggressive that there is etc etc etc but that we were lucky because of the new treatments that had just arrived.

On another note-I have two message boards that I frequent that are for those of us with breast cancer. On these boards the ladies do often post about comments that have been made to them, comments that really are quite stupid and hurtful in nature. I don't know that anyone has said anything to me that has been hurtful, and even if they had I have probably let it go because goodness knows I have said some pretty dumb things in my life to others as well.... but two things do stick in my head.

A few years back David and I had gained quite a lot of weight and were not eating very healthy at all. We both began weight watchers and started working out. After two years I lost 90 pounds. Now this was not an easy weight loss, it took lots of work and commitment. After I was diagnosed someone wondered if my weight loss was due to my cancer. Now I can understand why one would think that but this person also knew about our eating the weight watchers way, our exercise regime and knew that David had lost a lot of weight as well. So the comment was a bit irritating to me. By the way, my danged weight is on the rise again, well it has shifted I guess despite daily two mile walks....danged meds that I am on anyway....oh, could it also be the not so good eating habits that I have once again started!!!

The other was just recently. I was on my way to the northwoods and stopped to get gas. Now when I was bald, every time that I had to give someone my license so that they could verify that I was truly me, I wondered if they were going to question my identity. Some folks looked but never said a word. This younger guy did speak up saying that he wasn't sure that this was really me and he seemed hesitant about letting me use my card. Now I really was thankful that he did question me and am always glad when they ask to see ID but I guess on this day I just wanted to get to the cabin. So after his umpteenth, 'I don't know if this is really you', I said to him, 'Well cancer does that to a person'. Needless to say that was the end of it.
Compare for yourselves-
Pre-cancer ID

And a picture taken about the time that my identity was being questioned-

OK nuff said I guess I shouldn't have been crabby to the guy huh?

We became the people that we complain about

When you are deer hunting there is nothing worse than going very quietly to your stand before day break, settling in to wait for a deer to come by and oh what is that noise.....vehicles driving by wrecking your solitude! Damn. Well that was David and I this weekend and I am sure this guy was non too happy with us!

Although in our defense we drove on the well traveled logging roads only, this fella's stand was not far off of the road.

We started before daybreak driving the woods of the northland to see what we could see (having gotten our deer last weekend). At one point David wondered what was lumbering down the side of the road. It was a fox, a very large fox and it was on the wrong side of the truck for me to take a picture of it. I gave the camera to David hoping that he could get a good picture. After all this fox was walking right towards us not a bit afraid.......DON'T ever give a husband the camera and expect that he will get a good picture. I was able to use this one thanks to the capabilities of photo shop.

All over in this particular area hardy hunters spend their hunting nights in campers in the woods. The first year that I saw this I couldn't believe it. It gets danged cold up there this time of year and I want running water when I camp. But many hunters seem to enjoy roughing it. This camp even had a make shift outhouse alongside the camper.

Yesterday we traveled a road we had not been on before. No wildlife but double lakes behind the trees made for a nice picture on a cloudy day.

This morning was beautiful and I hope that I was able to catch that first of the morning frost.

Now Mikey where are you when I need you. I mean I cannot possibly give my husband the grief that he so deserves as well as you do! Here is a story you will appreciate- David left for the northwoods very early on Thursday morning pulling the large trailer loaded with stuff AND my four wheeler. As I had treatment on Thursday I went up later in the day. Before I left I received a call from David asking me to keep a lookout for my fourwheeler seat......when he arrived at our property he had a fourwheeler minus it's seat. Apparently, SOMEHOW, it had come off when he had gone over some bump or another. Needless to say I did not see it on my way up and we both figured that we would be dishing out a couple hundred dollars for a new seat. When David got home today, in his hand he had my four wheeler seat. Believe it or not he had found it in the ditch right outside of StPeter. Unbelievable and only my husband! There he is happy as can be that he doesn't have to dig deep into his pockets to replace the seat of my four wheeler!

These are red pine logs that David picked up this weekend from a friend who does tree removal. Some day he will make something with them.....wonder what it will be?

Too be announced I guess. Those that know my husband can be sure that he will come up something.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all.

A big surprise it was indeed!

So as my 50th birthday was approaching the thought rumbled around in my head, 'Gee it would be fun if my husband put together a surprise party'. I love nothing more than a good surprise and after all I threw him one when he turned 50! So as the day grew closer and no party seemed to be coming I let the thought and my small tad of disappointment go.

On a walk one day my neighbor Chrissy asked me if we wanted to go to Hermies for supper for my and her husband's birthday (Brent's is the day before mine). I said sure and when I asked David he thought it would be OK although he was going to go hunting that night so would have to meet us there. I asked my other neighbor and friend Jessica if she would like to join us. She was a bit hesitant saying that she would but wasn't sure how long she would be staying, may go to her favorite bar after supper etc..... Anyway, my point here is that everyone played their part so danged well that I had not clue one that anything was going on! The day of my birthday in fact I kept running things that people had said to me threw my little head knowing that because they had said this or that that meant that nope my husband really didn't think to have a party. In fact when we drove up to the parking lot I commented on how many cars were there. Jess wondered if they had a band. I said I hoped not because then poor David would really have trouble hearing what was being said.

I remember walking in and first seeing my aunts and uncles and my jaw dropped, as I kept looking around my jaw kept dropping. The biggest drop I think was in seeing Lenny and Kelly who were SUPPOSED to be in Michigan for a football game. I had in fact brought my cell into Hermies thinking, ' They will call to wish me a happy birthday'. But here they were in person. My first thought was guilt at them having canceled their trip because they felt they HAD to be at the party. Come to find out they had decided not to go over a month ago and had kept it a secret that long. Neither one a very good fibbers and I really don't know how they did it! I think that Kelly may have been the brainchild for the party.

So you guys you did a great job and I had a great time. Thanks to my wonderful as always husband, Lenny and Kelly, Chrissy and Jessica and anyone else who made phone calls to people. And to all who came to help me celebrate yet another milestone in my life. And to those who could not be here but helped me celebrate by thinking of me.

This next picture is of my uncle Dood (my godfather) who everyone knows is so tight he squeaks. He not only took the time to come to the party (also had a wedding of a good friend of his to go to) but he brought a card......that contained money!! If my cousin Lisa reads this she will understand my surprise! It was too funny.

My Uncle Dood is in his 80s and rides a Harley. Pretty incredible huh? My Uncle Ed (who reminds me so much of my mom) and his wife Sandy and my Aunt Etta and her husband Rog were there as was my pop.

And I should also mention that David's daughter Rachel and her husband Melvin came home with a surprise last week. They are expecting their first baby!

So Jean this post is for you because you check this blog daily and email me when I don't post...haha.

Thought for today-You don't have to turn 50 to reach a milestone. Each and every day contains milestones. Recognize them and celebrate them.

And in a card that I received Saturday- I believe in God only I spell it Nature.

As of today I am an official AARP card carrying member!

Yes it's true, today I turned 50. I received a card from my good friend Jan who says that life in the 50's is the best. I guess I will have to believe her as she has been doing it for quite a few years now (couldn't resist Jan!)

For the past couple of hours I have been sitting here drinking my coffee and thinking about when I was a kid. By the way, what is it about this memory thing? I mean, I can remember events from when I was small but can't remember things that happened two years ago or what I had for supper last night! I've been blaming it on chemo and the rest but now I have a double reason don't I....I AM 50.

The other day I had a curl (my first to return) spring up on the back of me head. The damned thing is just totally flipped up and unruly-much like my pre-chemo hair was. This very first curl reminded me of when I was young and used to wash my hair and then go to bed with what we called then- a granny cap- plastered on my head. I did this in hopes of straightening my hair. Well what I woke up to was straight hair down to the point where the ends of my hair hung out of the granny cap. These ends were flipped up just like my one little curl is now. What the hell....At 50 do we start reverting back to our child hood????

And another memory of my having wonderful long hair (this was in about kindergarten I think) down to the middle of my back which was of course very curly. Mom had no patience for combing my hair because it of course knotted like crazy with all of those curls. AND I was not very cooperative in the combing department. I do remember lots of ouches probably being screamed! There came a day when mom told me she had made an appointment to get my hair cut, I am thinking this is a trim like all the others. NOT. What I got much to my dismay was a pixy. That was a cut much like what I have now (OK perhaps a bit longer but not much!) and they called them pixies. Oh my was I pissed...Oh I was mad at her..... Poor mom.

One year not too long ago (or maybe it was quite a few years ago who's to say......) David and I were talking with mom and dad about the old days and I made the comment that I didn't remember ever having birthday cakes when I was a kid. Mom decided that I would never again go without a birthday cake and every year she made me an angel food cake for my birthday. My last momma birthday cake was in 2004 and I hadn't had one since....until along comes Kelly into our lives (Lenny's fiance) who this year made me a raspberry cheescake for our little celebration. OK now Kel, you have big shoes to fill.....I expect to have a cake every year of some sort!

Oh boy here's a memory for you. Remember the May Day's of our youth? We would do up these may baskets, take them to our friend's houses, knock on the door and run away (Deb this would be when I lived in your neighborhood). So, as I remember it, if you put one at a favorite boy's door and he caught you he was to give you a little smooch. I had a favorite boy in front of who's door I placed a May basket, rang the bell and ran. BUT I didn't run too far and certainly not very fast hoping he would catch me. Damned he didn't even look for me! What the heck was up with that anyway! Shoot Deb I don't even remember who it was just that I did it....who lived across the street from you guys. It seems to me that's where he lived.

I have another friend who is only a few hours older than I am. Jo B was born just before midnight on the 10th and along came me just after midnight on the 11th. Her mom and my mom were good friends and I spent a ton of time at their house as a kid. Jo not only sent me one card, she sent me two. In my card to her I wondered if the age had gotten to her as well...had she forgotten that she had already sent me a card? Anyway, the second card that she sent made me do a double take. It has two grey haired ladies riding in a convertible with funky looking glasses on and their arms up and the breeze blowing through their hair and their saggy arms. To me this looks like her mom (who is still with us) and my mom. Her mom being at the wheel. It may not totally resemble the two of them in features, but if you knew them both you would see the resemblance. Here it is, judge for yourself-

Yup that's mom and Jackie to be sure.

I told the three ladies that I was with yesterday that I was going to blog what we had done and I really do have to make good on my threat. These three, Jess, Jo and Jean, had a BIG day out planned.......they were going to go the the Fleet Farm in Owatona. For god's sake who in the hell does a day outting to go to the Fleet Farm? They invited me along and I went just knowing that it was going to be a day of laughter and it was. I am still amazed that we made a day to go to the Fleet Farm......and on the first real snowstorm that we had. It was an adventure and was fun.....life's little pleasures.

Message for today this day of my being an official card carrying AARP member....enjoy the little pleasures that come your way. Like this deer that I caught in my camera in the northland

There's something about getting together with friends, spending your days in the woods and evenings playing cards, that is just hard to beat. David, Lenny and I just returned from the northland and our annual deer hunt with the Steve D and Dave F families.

The weather and moon were not helpful in the hunt (danged deer were running all night long and bedded down during the day) but I did get a few pictures that I will share. Mikey I have to tell you that David AGAIN almost got me lost in that very same woods that he took all of us to this summer. Not only did he almost get us lost but he almost got us stuck. In fact the truck was burried in a mud hole up to the top of the passenger tire!

On our way up (we left home at 6am) we caught a beautiful sunrise and as you can see the snow geese were enjoying it as well.

The sun rising outside of our cabin window on opening day.

And on that same day the sun as it sets.

Message for today-take the time to enjoy a sunrise or sunset. Just take the time..........

She Was Taken From Us On 11-3-06

You gave us joy

You gave us entertainment

You gave us your loyalty

You stole our hearts

You laid beside us when we were ill

More gently than most knew you could be

You brought us through difficult times

And protected us as only you could

You were a great companion

An independent thinker

You enriched our lives

You will be missed

In loving memory of Pixie

Memories-etched deep in the pages of our minds:

Sweet memories........