WTF

Yup I say WTF......we were hit again on Wednesday night. They came back for the air compressor......WTF anyway huh?

We have talked to the neighbors surrounding us and have suspicions about a few. It sounds like that because of the population around here the Cass County Sheriff's dept really doesn't do much of anything in cases like this. Drugs are very wide spread in the population and folks do not have the means in which to get their drugs (no one works) so they steal. Go figure huh?

Now I am angry, in fact I am GD mad. I no longer feel safe. When it gets dark I drive with the damned car doors locked. WTF.

Well it's snowing out today and it's beautiful. Perhaps the dogs and I can walk in the woods and get a few nice pictures........maybe then I will feel better.

To be continued.........

So the plan was

The day after Christmas David and I (and the dogs) headed for the northland in our separate vehicles at 6am. The sunrise was beautiful and we were so looking forward to getting back to our little piece of heaven.

The plan was that I would stop at the hotel to get us registered, David would go on up to the cabin to get the heat on and then come back to the hotel for lunch. As I was nearing the hotel something told me to continue on to the cabin rather than stop at the hotel first. I was ahead of David so got to our property first. As I neared the driveway a very large hawk or an eagle that was not yet matured (did not have a totally white head) was hovering at the end of the driveway and I thought, hummm that's strange. Well strange had only begun! When I turned in the first thing that I noticed was that our cable going across the drive was down. Driving up cautiously (I have learned to trust my instincts) I saw the door of the shed open but there were no tracks in the snow. I found that someone had broken into our shed and stole a number of things. One of them was my (yes mine not David's!!!!) 4-wheeler

OK so David's 4-wheeler is being stored at Lenny's which is why it didn't get taken...minor detail....

The most awful of all the things that were taken were the kitchen cabinets that David had lovingly built last winter for the cabin. Those make me want to cry.....or strangle whoever did this to us! Come to think of it I like strangle better!!

They also broke into the cabin through the front door taking tools and various items.

So rather than working on the cabin, yesterday was spent with the County Sheriff (who found footprints in the dirt in the shed, one pair seemingly a woman's as the boot was smooth on the bottom and foot very narrow with a heel-certainly not mine!) and then off to town to buy another saw so we can work today.

We are hoping that these people will be caught because they took our trailer (which is homemade and very recognizable) and of course the 4-wheeler should be able to be spotted. But then again perhaps not.

And so it goes.....

And a very nice Christmas it was

This was an odd year for David and me as his two kids (and their spouses) were not able to be home for the holidays and Lenny and Kelly flew to Michigan to spend time with her family for Christmas Eve.

Christmas Eve found David and myself on our own and off to Mistake (yes MISTAKE) Lake Casino. I did have a great time playing the 2 and 5 cent machines and played a long time on my $40. David, he didn't do so well. You know, I don't know why I thought that perhaps Mom would bring me some luck from above (she was the lucky one at the casinos) because when she was alive and we would go.......sitting right next to her I would get nothing and she would hit it big. That lucky streak ran right past me and went to Lenny dang it!

Christmas Day was family day and it was nice. David's mom and sis, Lenny and Kelly and my pop were able to be at our house. We had the traditional ham (David's mom makes me ham every year because I love it and it is the only time that I get it) but this year I made something other than turkey. I did a beef loin in the oven and it was fabulous. The day was relaxing and full of good food and family.

I hope your day was enjoyable as well.

How Lucky I was

December 24th 2001
Just 5 short years ago, if you were dignosed as HER2+, your oncologist would tell you "your cancer is aggresive and your prognosis is poor". If you were stage I to III, you had to wait for a recurrence before he would give you Herceptin. There was a myth that it caused heart attacks. In 2001, if you were diagnosed with brain mets, your survival was measured in months. There was very little information on HER2, Herceptin, or metastatic breast cancer on the internet.Today, thanks to dedicated researchers we have turned the corner. Women who are HER2 positive now have a better prognosis than those that aren't. Tykerb another targeted therapy drug should be approved by the FDA in February. Great strides in HER2 vaccines are being made at Walter-Reed Medical Center and at the University of Washington. There are many new compounds in the laboratory ready to enter Phase I trials.

The above was posted on one of the message boards that I frequent. It is amazing how far the treatment of my type of breast cancer has come. I am HER2+ as well at Estrogen and Progesterone positive. After I had my mastectomy my surgeon told us that I was both lucky and unlucky. Unlucky because I had one of the most aggressive cancers but lucky because new treatments, very good treatments, had just been developed. I am currently receiving the Herceptin that they talk about in the above.

Yet another reason to be thankful.

I am not crazy

Last night was the chemo brain web conference. Both David and I listened to it. Featured was an oncologist and a breast cancer survivor (who also suffers from chemo brain).

Most oncologists do not recognize this as a symptom of chemotherapy and I have quit talking about it to mine as he does not recognize it either. I do not fault him for it, it just is not a widely studied thing as of yet. However, the featured onc during last night's presentation is doing PET scans of the brain in patients who have received chemotherapy which do in fact show differences in the brains metabolism as people are going through chemo. It is like having a MUGA test done periodically (that is the test I get to see if my heart is functioning OK during treatment). If this becomes a standard practice, you can get a baseline PET scan and periodic scans during treatment. If your scan shows changes you could forseeably (is that a word???) choose an alternate treatment OR at least feel better in that yes you are suffering from chemo brain.

I need to tell you that tears ran down my face while listening to this conference...SERIOUSLY. I know and David knows that I am just not right but it has not been recognized by the medical profession. The cancer is gone, I am through the hardest of the treatments and therefore I should be back to my old self.....NOT.

What I feel is I would guess like someone who has a brain injury may feel (forgetfulness etc) or someone who has had a stroke may feel (know what you want to say but the words don't come etc) or someone who has alzheimers may feel (I did not put that there I KNOW I didn't put it there but yes I did!). I used to multi task, was a fabulous multi tasker and did my job very very well...plus kept up the house. Now I cannot even imagine learning a new job skill. Most ads talk about being able to work in a fast paced environment. To even think about it overwhelms me, I wonder how in the hell I could do it! That's what scares me the most. At home David and I laugh about it (once again thank goodness for understanding husbands) but in any other environment I just don't know.

Now I also am aware that my age and the fact that I am in menopause does not help these symptoms. And I am thankful for the chemotherapy, would not have done anything differently. I just feel relieved in knowing that SOMEONE in the medical field, and an oncologist at that, is recognizing this symptom.

Stats show that about 10-80 percent of the people suffer from chemo brain. AND, the worst cases seem to be those of us with breast cancer because of the specific chemo cocktails that we get (AC-Taxol then Tamox and Herceptin or drugs of the same sort). Some get better totally, some recover partially and others do not, they suffer with it always. After last night's web cast David said we will make quite a pair in the northland, one with chemo brain and the other with Alzheimers lost in the woods. But we wont care...kids just come visit us once and a while will you????

If you are interested at all in listening to the webcast (it is an hour long) you can do so my clicking on the link that I provided in a previous post, they will replay it.

So again, just having this acknowledged is a large help to me, I am tearing up as I type...frigging cancer anyway damn it to hell!!!!!!!!!! (Hey I think that's healthy isn't it to get angry once and awhile???)

Gotta close with something pretty. The beautiful wild flowers on our property up north.



Love ya all and Happy Holidays.

I Own IT-IT Does Not Own Me

It being of course breast cancer. Way in the beginning I decided that this beast was not going to own me, control me. I am taking charge.

So, since I happen to own it I can do whatever I want with it right? Well this year I decided that I would decorate my tree with the pink ribbons that signify breast cancer, frosted balls, white lights and a bit of tinsel. I think it's quite nice and sort of fun. What do you think Lenny, is it better than the ones that I have had that YOU say look like I rolled them down a hillside? For a few years I would go into the fields and woods collecting weeds to decorate my tree with. Apparently Lenny didn't see the beauty in those trees...haha.

The first picture shows the top of the tree. Under the angle is a BC ribbon ornament that
Kelly S gave me last year and was the inspiration for the tree this year.

And the full tree

And the tree at night

Thanks to my neighbor Chrissy for helping me string the lights. David used to do this for me (I hate it and I suck at it) but he quit on me dang it! You know there is a knack to it, one that I learned this year and it looks oh so much better. You don't just go around and around the tree you go from the inside of each branch to the outside of each one (or almost each one)! 50 years old and just learning how to put lights on a Christmas tree!!!!

Happy Holidays to all of my friends and family.

And oh I have to say happy 21st birthday to Krystin G, my cousin Shelly's daughter, happy birthday to you.

Day three-the Grand Canyon

The weather was cool so we weren't able to hike down into the canyon like we had wanted to....next time. This place is too beautiful to describe, pictures will have to do.

It's always an adventure when with my husband!

As we had our own private tour guide (Melvin) we were able to see sights and learn a few tid bits that we would not otherwise have learned. On our second day we drove through a canyon, Canyon Dechelly. Most people drive around the upper rim and look down, not us, we drove through the canyon. David had upgraded our rental from a little 4 banger car to a Jeep Larado with 4 wheel drive and it was a good thing as the terrain was interesting in the canyon. This is a view of just a few of the 'gullies' that we drove through.

And the only wildlife that we saw in the canyon...man this was a big bull!

And our veiw as we drove through the canyon, quite impressive.

Years ago, our private guide tells us, the Anasazi (meaning the ancient ones) people lived in this canyon. Below is a picture of the communities that they lived in. These shelters are high up in the mountainside and one wonders how building them was possible.

They also told stories with these hieroglyphics. Again, these are written high up on the mountainsides!

And a picture of a ceremonial hut that the native americans use. It is called a Hogan and the doors always face east.

Now with so much to look at one can understand why our driver.....David.....has a difficult time keeping his eye on the path. While driving out of the canyon (thank goodness we were driving out not in!) we all were tossed around in the Jeep because David had hit something and hit it good. He had hit a very large stump with the left front tire.... damaging the rim and flattened the tire. Now remember we are in a canyon, cell phone service is non existant. Thank goodness we were close to coming out of the canyon and close to a town. David and Melvin got the tire changed and the rim banged back to almost normal and Rachel and I laughed for a good long time. I had to get a picture of the only injury that was incurred. David was bounced around so hard that he hit the top of his head on the roof of the Jeep...see the red mark?

After our canyon tour we were invited to Melvin's mom's for a traditional native american meal of mutton stew, bread (which was like our pita bread), steamed vegetables and mush. The meal was fabulous and Melvin's mom is a great host. Melvin's family works very hard at holding onto the old ways. He and his mom speak to each other in their native dialect, Melvin has built a sweat lodge and they have a ceremonial lodge (a Hogan). It is a very peaceful place.

BUT, getting to her house was no picnic. It seems that we brought the Minnesota weather with us as the day started out sunny, it then began to rain, then sleet and finally snow.

The storm as it made it's way towards us.

And the snow as it came down.

And last but not least, a cool looking tree with it's knarled trunk that Melvin spotted.

Off to Sedona Arizona we went

Being lucky enough to have a daughter and son in-law living in this wonderful state we thought we had better get out to visit them.

Rachel and Melvin live in Sedona, a very beautiful place indeed! Arriving early in the day we rented a car and drove from Phoenix to Sedona where Rachel and Melvin had our first 'test' waiting. We took a hike up Cathedral Hill, a two hour hike up at that (David is sure that it was more like a 3 hour hike!) And of course I was carrying my camera in one hand while trying to maintain balance and hike up up up all at the same time. I will have you know that I not only did it but was able to get some great pictures as well.
The above picture is looking at Cathedral rock from about our hiking starting point. It was a long ass way up but well worth it.

Yes David we DO go to the top of this hill...well not to the very top but we did hike to the flat part that just at the bottom of the rocks that go straight up. We had already hiked about an hour at this point.

Up up up keep going gramps.

And from the top one of many beautiful views. It was a fabulous day and felt good to get some exercise in after a long day in airports and airplanes.

And another fun view through the trees.This picture is on the way to Sedona from Phoenix. It was my first.....'stop stop I need to get that picture'. Our friends Mikey and Jan know what that is like. Jan is a picture taker too and Mikey the driver. Jan and I tend to utter the above phrase frequently while on road trips. Road trips do take much longer when you have a camera in hand!

Day two in Sedona brought quite the adventure and I will blog about that later......stay tuned!

Someone seems to be intruding

Below the Etta entry and another one in the archives someone has posted about working from home and giving a website to look at. I have not clicked on the given website and do not recommend that any does. I do not know who this person is who is doing this so do not trust the source. I think there is a way for me to monitor all entries prior to them being published and if this intrusion continues I may do that.
So don't open the website folks.

One cannot take the place of the other but.....

Today Jessica adopted a 10 week old puppy who will never 'take the place' of Pixie, but will make his own place in her heart and her life (and ours as well).


Miles came from an agency called homeward bound rescue, website: www.homewardboundrescue.com

He is an adorable little guy who is a golden retriever poodle mix. This new breed is called a golden doodle (I think!!!!). Of course as it was with Pixie, it will be with Miles, he will spend a lot of time here and has already 'taken over' the place!

In the past I have blogged about our dog Tackla who is a pack dog and is a dominate lady. She has her own bedroom with her own bed and a basket full of her babies that she protects. She has been a sport over the years in accepting whoever we may throw into her life. First it was Pixie, then came Peeko and now Miles. Tack wasn't too sure about Miles at first, but as is shown by this picture........he has wormed his way into her heart as well.
This is Miles laying in Tackla's basket bed, something that she doesn't even let Peeko do!!!!
Right by Miles' foot is a bone that he took from Peeko. This is what I mean by he has taken over the place!

Happy birthday to my Auntie

My Aunt Etta turns 70 this very day, Happy Birthday to you Etta. In fact this year not only is she celebrating 70 years of life but her and her husband Roger celebrated 50 years of marriage. Quite the year for the couple. This is a picture of Roger, Etta and their two daughters at the 50th anniversary party this past summer. Shelly is on the left and is my computer illiterate cousin. HOWEVER she is actually able to access this blog and does make comments on it so pretty impressive I say. Sharon is on the right and NEVER reads her email (something that I always give her grief about).

My mom and Etta were quite close as sisters. In fact, the two traveled with David and I to warm destinations in the winter for a number of years. Many many memories were made on these trips.

Our first trip as a foursome was to our favorite little island Isla Mujeres. Mom and Etta spent a week with us (David and I were there 10 days). They disliked leaving so much that they never ever spent only a week again, it was 10 days from then on. Below is a picture of the first of many trips, mom and Etta were leaving to go home after their week was up.

David and I took these two ladies to destinations such as Zihuatinajo (sp?), Ambergris Caye in Belize and of course back again and again to Isla Mujeres. Etta always wondered what David and I wanted with those two older ladies along on our vacations.....my oh my you just couldn't beat the fun that we had! Our very first trip out we spent the night in a hotel as our plane left at 6am the next morning. We shared a room, David and I in one bed and Etta and mom in the other. Poor David got no sleep as Etta and mom (and I) giggled the entire night. I looked over at one point to see mom holding something that she had picked up from the night stand in front of her face trying to read it....IN THE DARK. First of all, my mom was not a reader and second her vision was certainly not good enough to read in the dark. The two were just like kids excited to go on their first vacation.

While in Belize we rented a golf cart to explore the island. We had driven down some path or another quite a long way. The damned cart gave out on us and we ended up pushing it for a bit of course giggling and laughing the entire time.

Most of our vacation time was spent laying in the sun, eating or playing cards. Poor Etta got so tired of loosing to my husband that she quit playing with him AND came up with a very good nickname for him. OK so it's my blog I can say what I want right...she dubbed him 'peckerhead' because she was so frustrated with loosing to him.

Before my mom passed Etta and her went on a sister's only vacation to the Black Hills. It was a memorable trip for both I am sure. They took my cousin Sharon's cell phone along in case they had car problems etc. Now, neither of these two ladies had ever used a cell phone before and had no clue how they worked. Since Etta was the driver it was mom's responsibility to take care of the cell phone. The thing would ring and of course mom couldn't hear it (not only were her eyes bad but the hearing was as well!!!) so Etta had to tell her that it was ringing and then mom would have to dig in her purse to try to find the thing. IF they would get the phone answered before it went into voice mail all one could hear was the two of them giggling.

So, happy birthday to you my dear Aunt. May you have many many more.