Man Do I Feel Dumb....But.....

Just finished my series of neuro-pshyc tests and boy oh boy it was three sessions of torture! These tests were performed because of my memory and cognitive difficulties and I'm thinking I must have flunked big time because I sure enough felt stupid. I can't even think of an example of any of the questions/situations that I had no clue the answers to but sure should have I am sure.

So even though I felt dumb as a brick I do feel better in that he sees a definite pattern in regards to my ole head. He says it is definitely the left hemisphere that is mush (not his words-mine) and my ability to learn and recall has been impaired. He says it would be his guess it is from the chemo as opposed to any thing else because it is so one sided. David and I go for the full results the second week in May. Doc says I can bring anyone along with me that I would like to hear the results and I said no no no....don't need anyone else hearing how much my brain has mushed!

The process itself, although painful and humiliating, was very interesting. And really very helpful to have someone, a professional, be able to tell with testing that something is amiss....it is not my imagination. So at our next appointment I will have to ask if this can regenerate, will it deteriorate etc etc etc. Whatever-at least I am here to tell the story huh? Perhaps one day soon this will be a recognized and talked about chemo side affect. I am betting once my oncologist receives the report he will study it and be more aware.

Speaking of my onc, tomorrow he should have more information in regards to the Tamoxifen and the ovaries. He had asked some of his colleagues from Jacksonville Florida but wanted to also ask the folks at Rochester as well. He is one of those guys that really likes to know everything that he can about something before he makes a recommendation....and I guess I have really come to appreciate that. After all, this is my life he is dealing with.

In a week and a half we will gain a new daughter in law. It seems like just a year and a half ago that they were starting to plan and here we are almost to the wedding day.

Ending today with shots of the first flowers that I spotted in our gravel pit on a walk with the dogs. I think there are Lilies of the Field and Jack in the Pulpit about to bloom as well but there are way too many wood ticks out now to go back...maybe next week without the dogs I will go to get pictures of those-I don't like waking up at 2am with a tick crawling on my neck and hand!

Oh I started a new knitting class...I am now learning how to knit socks. I don't wear socks...ever even in the winter. But these are so danged nice I may just start! Pictures of my first completed pair will surely be posted on the blog. Next week I learn how to make a 'Top Down Sweater'. Fun fun fun. It may take me 6 times longer than anyone else to make something but I don't care!

So, He's Not Sonny and Cher

Craig Morgan...who in the heck is Craig Morgan?

I came across this on one of the cancer blogs that I read and thought it was good. I seriously have no clue who Craig Morgan is (I suspect you do huh Rhonda???) but I appreciate what he has to say not only in his song 'Tough' but in explaining the song.

Even though this is 'originally' about his wife who has breast cancer.....it is really about all women and how tough we really are. So ladies, stand up and be counted...we are one tough lot no matter what we have going on in our lives.

Hopefully this link will work (you may have to copy and paste it). If it does click on Studio 330 sessions and then the song tough (come on Lenny even you who probably doesn't like country music can do this!). After the song go back and click on interviews/Craig Morgan explains the song Tough.

http://www.cmt.com/artists/az/morgan_craig/videos.jhtml

On another note-spring has sprung....finally-

And there's nothing like a couple hour hike at 7 mile park with a good friend and our dogs.

And The Beat Goes On

La De Da De De-------La De Da De Da

Every time something new comes up in regards to my breast cancer this song runs through my head......you shush Lenny!

So it seems, much like a stubborn Grunst....my body is being stubborn. Stubborn has been good in that this ole bod has refused to let the bc get me so thank you very much. However, at my last oncology appointment he informed me that my body is not metabolizing the Tamoxifen very well. What the hell...why should it...it doesn't metabolize food very well either dang it. OK so I digress....anyway, the Tamox is an oral med that one takes to keep the cancer away. You take it until you are in full menopause and then you switch to a med that works for folks in menopause.

Since I seem to NOT be in full menopause (then what in the hell are all of these hot flashes about anyway I say!) the doc cannot yet switch me to one of the other meds that would hopefully be metabolized by my body thus work as it should.

He is researching a couple of options, talking with colleagues in Rochester and I suspect Jacksonville FL. One option would be to do blood work frequently and the minute it shows that I am in full menopause switch me to an alternate med...OR force those ovaries to stop working thus putting me in menopause. My cancer is estrogen fed so I really need to not be producing the stuff!

The doc seems to be leaning towards waiting and watching. Me, I tend to say yank those ovaries, who needs em. Not me at this age! Anyway, he doesn't seem all that concerned about it all so I will see what he finds out huh?

By the way, I LOVE Sonny and Cher...again you shush Lenny.

Happy Ham Eating Day To You

I know I know this is Easter and it is not ham eating day. But I love ham and that is what most traditionally have on this day. I however only get ham now at Christmas (since mom is no longer with us to make me my Easter ham)-for Christmas David's mom keeps me happily supplied with ham.

We are having beef stroganoff at our house today with homemade buns (like my momma used to make...ok ok so she didn't make them from scratch either but I did make them the way she made them and I ain't telling our secret!).

And of course during the holidays I tend to think of my mom because she was always the one that made sure we were very well fed. As I putter around my kitchen I feel her with me-hummm wonder if I make as many circles as she used to? Anyway, as you all know I am not and never have been a big baker but by golly I am pretty proud of this masterpiece. Isn't my bunny cake just cute as can be!

And I really did make it by myself-INCLUDING- the bunny pattern. This is no bunny cake pan folks so there!

Happy Easter.

Bobbi

Another Leg of My Journey

Started today. Back to Mayo for what is called an extraction. They drew 200 cc's off of each side. I no longer have rock hard melons sitting on my chest! I have to wait another 6 weeks, then go back to the plastic surgeon at which time he checks to make sure the muscle has not contracted and snapped back to the chest wall (thus closing the pocket meaning there would be no room for the REAL fake boobs). If all is well I then schedule a time for the exchange surgery-which will be beginning of June. My plastic surgeon suggested that I wait until I am finished with my Herceptin (June sometime) so that he can not only do the exchange surgery but could take out my port while I am under (otherwise my regular surgeon would take the port out during an office visit under local anesthesia). I am thinking that it sure would be nice to have it all done at once huh? I will have to ask my oncologist if he recommends taking the port out right away. Lots of folks leave them in for a year or so 'just in case'. I guess they are more difficult to put in if you need them put in a second time. It's almost unreal for me to think that this is almost done. I wonder how I will feel once I am no longer going to weekly treatments. It is you see a bit of a safety net....while doing treatments I am still actively fighting the beast. I will just have to wrap my head around the fact that there is no longer a beast to fight and enjoy no longer having weekly doctor appointments!

Cabin update-Our cabin appeared to be undisturbed last weekend which is a good thing! We did not get as far on the floor as we had hoped. For petes sake you would think with all of the remodeling that David and I have done we would know that things always take longer than you think...... We did however get the floor sanded. I ran the floor sander for two days straight, used muscles I forgot that I had! David got one coat of poly on the floor. I have decided that people who re-do floors for a living do not charge near enough for their work! My friend Mary just had hers redone and she got one hell of a deal in my opinion!

Eagles-man there were eagles everywhere last weekend up north. Not a single good photo shot was to be had though.

33 Years Ago Today

Ryan's wife Jen was born. Happy birthday to you Jen.

Jen packed up her bags a year or so ago and moved from her very close family unit to Corpus Christi Texas when Ryan landed a job on the railroad there. I am sure that it was not easy for her but I think she has settled in and enjoying life....right Jen?

Jen is spending her time studying yoga, working and taking walks with their dog Molly. Here are some pictures of her and Ryan that I stole from Jen's blog.

This one was taken I think in Austin Texas during one of Jen's yoga training sessions and I think the tree is just too cool. The very little person at the base of the tree is the birthday gal.

Jen and Ry at a hockey game I believe.

And at home with their very spoiled dog Molly.

Hope your day is great Jen.

Cabin Update

Well we spent last weekend in the northland in hopes of getting the floors sanded and perhaps a coat or two of poly on them. As most remodel projects go....what we had hoped to get completedwe did not. The floors needed more work than we thought. We did get the spare bedroom sanded and it is ready to be polied. Our next trip up we SHOULD be able to sand the remaining floors.

No new robbers, the place looked as we had left it thank goodness.

It was a foggy day Saturday and I took some pictures of the fog rolling in.

My favorite picture taking spot.

We often see an eagle in the trees here. In fact one was hanging out on the ice BUT when we turned around to get a picture some knuckle head had stopped to look at him and it spooked. He certainly would have made a nice picture.

A foggy entry onto our property.

We could not believe people were still driving on the ice to fish. This was taken on Friday and by Saturday most of the ice was gone!

It's A Bit Of A Sisterhood

This breast cancer thing. While eating breakfast in Mexico one morning at an outdoor place the couple next to us asked us to join them for a bit. We did and the fella asked what my port was for (it's not easy to hide when you wear a swimsuit!) so I told him......we then found out that his wife had breast cancer 5 years ago as well. Of course this lead to all sorts of conversation. When she was diagnosed they purchased a property on Isla and have now built a nice home. We spent a day with these folks and next year will go back to see them again. (what the hell David how come you didnt deal with my diagnosis like this guy did???? Oh yes that is right....you worked on our cabin....hummmm)





Last week I was at the Tangled Skein (my favorite knitting store) and ran into a gal that I knew I should know....we both looked at each other and she knew my name but I of course could not remember hers for the life of me. Anyway, she too had breast cancer 5 years ago so we stood in the store and yapped for quite a while. Sue was the inspiration for my second knitting project. She told me about the buttonhole bag that you felt much like my slippers. I did this guys without a class if you can believe it...AND knitted this bag in probably 3 hours tops.

How cute is that bag huh? This one is quite small but you can make them really any size that you want. And did I say that I did this without a class????? This bag is my third completed project (I knitted a second pair of slippers before leaving for Mexico) and am now working on yet another project that is to be a surprise to someone so I am not going to talk about it so there.

Anyway, yes the sisterhood. Both of these ladies are doing well after 5 years and neither were fortunate to have had the benefit of Herceptin. Stories like their's are so good to hear. Both of these ladies also are suffering from the same cognitive stuff that I am...so there Lenny.....it's not just me being me...haha.

An aside....the job interview last week went very well and they would have liked to have hired me but the mandatory training did not work out with my Herceptin infusions. They did tell me to call them when I am all done. I went on another interview for a job in StPeter, they too would have liked to have hired me but again could not make the hours work to incorporate my Herceptin infusions. So there you have the job updates. I continue to look and will find something I just know I will.

Someone should just damned hire me to knit and to take pictures so THERE.

Spring Has Sprung

Well the ice is melting anyway. I am anxiously awaiting the first blooms to take pictures of.

There is nothing more relaxing for me than spending time with my camera in my hand. So this morning I went off to get pictures of the rising Minnesota River.

Taken on the walkway along Highway 22. Just yesterday Jess and I were able to walk the dogs along the entire path. Today the water is over the path and is rushing under the bridge.







Same are different view. Taken from top of the bridge by Brandt's junkyard looking towards St Peter. You can see the water coming up over the walkway on the upper right side.

Another view from the bridge but looking in the opposite direction.....is this upstream or downstream???

Taken at the city park in StPeter, the campground area. The bridge in the pictures is the 99 bridge towards the Whiskey River.

And at the History Center in StPeter. The pathway going to the river is, as you can see, flooded.

So I Was Going To Send Out A Mass Email

But then I remembered that that is what the blog is for....duhhhhhhhhhh.

NERVOUS I am nervous. I, yes me, have an interview on Wednesday. Oh my god I am almost panicking just thinking about it! But it will be OK so there no matter what. I mean come on, I have survived cancer nothing else should shake me right?

So in case you all are wondering (why sure you are aren't you?). I stumbled upon a customer care representative position on one of the job sites that I have been frequenting. I actually saw it before we went to Mexico but they had a 4 week mandatory training while we were gone so I thought oh well. Now its in the paper again. Now the good part, in my mind, is that it is an at home position......I know I know you all are crossing your eyes thinking boy oh boy did she get taken. But this is on the up and up because I called my good friend Bugsy (aka Michelle) who is a travel agent with Lutes Travel in Kato (there Bugs how's that for a plug!!!!) and talked to her about it. She has heard of it and gave me the sort of skinny. You know, pay isn't that good and hours are not the best...and all true...but it still intrigues me. And I want to push myself to do this interview because I am nervous about doing it so that means it will be good for me to do.... When you have only had like two major jobs your entire career interviews are a little scary!

The reason I called Michelle is because this job is for Northwest Airlines-they must contract out to a company for this service. But it is taking phone calls and emails from customers when they have questions about travel or their world perks mileage etc.

So there you have it. I am sure I will post more after the interview on Wednesday.

Hey I have spring fever, anyone else?

I am posting these pictures for no particular reason...just because I feel like i want to I guess.

We Are Home

Our first 10 days were wonderfully blistering hot. After Kel and Len left the weather changed and it continued to be rather cold, cloudy and a bit rainy. HOWEVER even a cold rainy day on Isla is better than a snow filled day in MN. It is good to see our dogs who I know missed us and our neighbors too....right neighbors.

Some pictures that I took during our last couple of days.

A few of the very colorful houses and structures of Isla Mujeres. On the island these bright colors just seem to fit in. Back here in the states...well I just don't think it would work as well huh?

This guy seemed to be captain of his own boat



Against the wind

And all in a row just hoping to get a bite of left over fish. Isla used to be primarily a little fishing village. The islanders made their living fishing, some still do. Ordering fish in a restaurant means that you are getting the fresh catch of the day and it is FABULOUS.

It was cold even on our balcony the last couple of days. I had to wrap up in my beach towel while reading and thank goodness I took along slippers! The weather can change in a heartbeat on the island. You truly do learn to watch the way the wind blows which allows you to predict the weather...at least for the upcoming few hours.

Our popcorn man and the young fella that works at Sea Hawk. The popcorn man makes his living selling popcorn and some sort of chips AND bacon rinds (or whatever in the heck you call those things that are made out of bacon fat or grease or whatever. My mom loved them anyway!). He walks the beaches during the day and sits on the curb as the beach people leave for their hotels. He seems to do fairly well but then I think may spend much of his earnings on beer. UNLESS Jess is on the island to buy him a beer or two and give him a smoke. He is a sweet little man and I can see why many buy popcorn from him even if it gets thrown in the garbage down the road. Not me mind you I eat mine, I love popcorn of any kind.

Eduardo (who also works for Sea Hawk) and our maid's young daughter. It is the islander's custom to spend as much time with their little ones as possible. And if you are lucky you are allowed to bring your young ones to work with you as the gal who cleans rooms for Sea Hawk does. She is a young mom but a very good mom and her little one is a happy girl as well as cute as heck! Everyone at Sea Hawk seems to be an extended family to this little girl, she is a lucky one!

This guy got out of his fenced in yard and just couldn't seem to find his way back in. So he joined the traffic on the streets.

And of course you cant leave the island without taking in a sunset or two. I love to get boats as the go home in the setting sun.

I caught a couple of island birds flying across my lens as the sun was setting.

The day is almost done. There is nothing quite like the sun setting over the Caribbean ocean. We always wonder if people who see this every day take it for granted. Although last year we did see the owners of our hotel walking hand in hand on the beach as the sun was setting so maybe not huh?

Now that we are back what the hell am I gonna talk about? Oh I'll find something I am sure.....

What Ry were you hoping I would forget about you!!!!

Today is Ryan's birthday and I bet after looking at the pictures that I posted for Lenny and Rachel's birthdays he is hoping that either I forgot his or that I could not find any old pictures.....no such luck kiddo!

I used to tell Ryan that he was just like his dad......same mannerisms, same walk, same cheap (yes I said cheap...not frugal...haha) ways. Ryan is a carbon copy of his dad, even looks like him since he shaved his head.

Being like his dad also means that he is very thoughtful and understanding. I have used him as a sounding board on more than one occasion and have always appreciated his advice.

Ryan was always the kid that called me (just a step mom mind you) to wish me a happy mother's day or a happy birthday......he would call even when my biological kid would forget!

So Ry a very happy birthday to you.



And the promised pictures that I dug up:

The cutest little kid...still a cute kid so there.

You and your pop

Helping Dad?

Working...can you see him looking out the window. This is what Ry does for a living...drives trains...is that what you do is 'drive' them? What the heck do you do with a train anyway, it must be drive them right?

Christmas this year at he and Jen's home in Corpus Christi Texas. Nice Christmas tree behind Ryan isn't it? See what I mean about frugal...it's all he would let poor Jen buy for a tree...LOL.

Have a great day Ryan.

Dad and Bobbi