A Beautiful Tribute

I have posted this link before but the website has been updated with 'real stories'. Please click on it and listen as it is a beautiful tribute.

http://www.craigmorgan.com/index.php?

Sharing A Story

When my mom passed her body was cremated and we chose to bury her ashes on our northern property. She is nourishing a newly planted red maple (red was her favorite color and she loved being outdoors) as we put her ashes in the hole when we planted the tree.

Every year my home town's fire department has a fishermen's getaway and this year it was at a resort near our little slice of heaven. My uncle and mom's brother who is 80 something AND rides a Harley, with 20 of his motorcycle riding friends, drove their bikes to the getaway. Wanting to see our northern property......and where his sister is buried I suspect......he and those friends ventured up to have a look (we were not there at the time). Another fella in the party knew where our property-and where Mom's Tree is- as he and a crew were up awhile back putting up our shed. My uncle said that he was standing by Mom's Tree saying a little prayer when his friend tapped him on the shoulder and handed him a rock that he had found on the property (we had put a few small rocks by Mom's Tree previously). My uncle placed the rock with the other rocks and you know what, I think a new tradition was born.

To whoever may visit us in the northwoods feel free to find a rock and place it, in honor of mom, by her tree. I miss her every day but know she is with us.

A Very Happy Anniversary

To Rachel and Melvin who were married in a very nice ceremony 2 years ago today.

And today their family is larger with Dezbah Daisy who is now four weeks old.

Happy anniversary you guys and a very happy first Father's day to Melvin.

Dad and Bobbi

Cabin Update

We are officially moved into the cabin and it is so wonderful! I took pictures but that was before the curtains were hung and we do not yet have the bedroom nightstands in...will do it next week and will provide pictures then.

We both just sat there this weekend (after we were done doing whatever work it is we thought we just HAD to do) and said how pleased we are with the turn out. All of the work has been worth it and then some. Every time I think of working on the cabin I think of being on that roof last summer in the middle of chemo-90 plus degrees out with 110% percent humidity and shingling! I had no business being on that roof-hell I can barely stand on a roof in good health! But it was fun and makes for great memories.

Both mornings that we woke up we had a deer standing in our yard. It doesnt get much nicer than that! The lawn is longer than it has ever been and we have found that it is full of wild daisies. David has decided to leave it grow natural and only mow next to the cabin so we (and the butterflies) can enjoy the natural wildflowers.

There is still more work to be done but we can now do it at our leisure (and yes perhaps get a little fishing in this summer) while enjoying our little slice of heaven!

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there and to my wonderful husband who I so enjoy making memories with.

Wooooo Whoooo

The real fake boobs are in as of yesterday (nipples as well!) It certainly is an interesting process especially when it comes to me as I don't do anything the easy way. They found that my left chest wall sits crooked (probably due to my heart surgery when I was 5....that side didn't grow as well as the other side). So the doc attempted to center my left implant opening up a pocket on the inside and stitching the heck out of the outer side. However, short of removing the chest muscle (of which they say mine is very firm!) I will probably have things a bit off center. But hey, I have boobs!
The nipples are done with a 'twist and stitch' technique. They pull up the skin, give it a twist and then stitch it.
So I am a tad sore and am trussed up (in hopes of keeping the left side where it belongs) for about a month. And I'm damned tired! Recovering from anesthesia gets more difficult as I grow more mature!
No lawn mowing, no vacuuming, no lifting more than 10 pounds and no raising my arms above my head except to wash my hair. So JESSICA will you please feed the birdies as David refuses. I will be spending the next month knitting away!
In four months I go in for a tattoo party. Yup they tattoo areolas on. Man I about passed out with the dressing change today how in the world will I be able to stand getting tattooed!

Last Weekend's Project

Along with attending a family graduation and the wedding reception of some very dear friend's granddaughter David and I spent our time in the garage completing two nightstands and an armour for our bedroom up north.

We spied these pieces at an antique/gift shop one day and decided we could make them. We have less money into all three pieces than what they wanted for one piece at the shop. David (of course) put them together and I painted and distressed them.



The tall piece will hold some hanging clothes (wont need much once we retire!) and the TV will sit on top.


Next week Monday I have my exchange surgery in Rochester and will get my port pulled out (port was used for my infusions). I wasn't sure how I would feel once done with treatments but ya know, I am anxious to be really done with it all as this has consumed so much of our lives for almost two years! I was once really wanting to participate in the 3-day race (for breast cancer) and the Race for the Cure but had not ever been able to get there. Now I don't feel the pull to do that in fact am not sure that I want to attend....right now I just really want to walk the next leg of our life. So on we trudge my husband and I.



And ending with the latest pictures of Dezbah Daisy taken on 6-4-07.

Dezbah Daisy and her namesake-Melvin's mom.

Rachel says she is growing fast! Is a very good baby but she keeps momma up most of the night. But the family is doing very well.

With Camera In Hand

The annuals have been planted:

The perennials are beginning to bloom:

And a beautiful sunset after a much needed rain:

Photos With Me Actually In Them!

Thought I would share the latest wedding pictures that I received from a relative of mine:

My newly married boy and I

Our new daughter in law and her new grandpa in law

The family photo

The wedding cake

And the cutting of.....

The Norvold sisters in our own private concert!

The Bride And Groom

The vows

And the kiss

A very nice looking couple indeed.

When Ryan and Jen were married in a family only ceremony at a quaint little very small church by Jen's home town I thought, 'this is so nice it just cant be beat'.

Then Rachel and Melvin were married outside at Gustavus with many more people on a very beautiful day in a non traditional ceremony with a breakfast afterwards and a dance at night I thought again, 'this is so nice it just cant be beat'.

Then came Len and Kel with a large wedding, reception and dance and a full weekend of activities in northern MN and it was fabulous.

Each one has had it's own style and each has been a wonderful wedding. It's pretty unbelievable in fact to think that they are all three married now and one grand child is here!

Dezbah Daisy Nez

As promised here she is the cutest little girl ever.

She was born at home with a mid wife in attendance on May 16th. She weighed 7 pounds 6 ounces and was 20 inches long. As you can see she has a head of dark hair.

Mom, baby and Dad are doing very well.

It's Official David Is A Grandpa

Rachel and Melvin had a baby girl this morning. I don't know much at all only that she had a girl and mom and baby are doing fine. Melvin called David....and you know men....they don't even think to ask the IMPORTANT stuff like how much did she weigh, how long was she, does she have lots of hair etc etc etc. In fact David didn't even get her name. I called Uncle Ryan and he told me (I think) that her name is Dezbah. It is a Navajo name apparently and is Melvin's mom's Navajo name. Maybe when she feels better Rachel will fill us all in and I will post pictures as soon as I get them. Rachel's mom is going to spend a week with her so I will get pics I am sure.

This Is A Good Read

And way too funny. I have an appointment at Mayo tomorrow with my plastic surgeon to schedule the exchange surgery (I'll be getting my REAL fake boobs!). Needing to know when I am done with my Herceptin infusions (because the PS is going to remove my port at the same time), I called my onc nurse and asked them to figure out when I will be finished with the Herceptin. The nurse called back laughing......she said that I am done, in fact I have had a few too many infusions! Apparently the doc had forgotten about the 10 infusions that I had had before they went computerized-they were not in the computer but were in my chart hand written. That is too funny. So folks I am officially finished with my chemo treatments!
Celebrate celebrate dance to the music!!!!!!!
Now on to real fake boobs. AND I am officially in menopause so the ovaries are no longer producing estrogen-no need to stop them.
You know what...it all feels pretty good actually!

Cabin Up Date and The Wedding

We just returned from a nice long week up north. Got lots done on the cabin and we also gained a fabulous daughter in law. On May 6th Kelly Jo Schafer became Kelly Jo Leonard.

It was a wonderful wedding weekend. On Friday (David's birthday), the guys played golf. The weather held out long enough for them to finish and then it started to sprinkle just a bit. I had the pleasure of riding around the course in my very own golf cart snapping pictures, it was a blast to be sure.

The wedding was wonderful. The sun was out just long enough for the ceremony to be held (at the last minute) outdoors. For music Lenny's dad and his wife sang and played the guitar (Alisa sang, Tom played the guitar). Alisa has the most wonderful voice. Her and her two sisters are the Norvold sisters and do sing for many functions. They gave a few of us our very own concert during the wedding dance in a back hallway, it was wonderful!

One of the best parts for me was having a mini reunion with the class of 2000. Those kids spent a lot of time at our house and they are good kids....they can party it up good....but they are good kids.

And of course many good friends and relatives were there to help us celebrate the day and to welcome Kelly into the family. It was a great weekend.

I don't have pictures of the wedding as of yet but as soon as I get them I will post them. Until then here are a few of the other festivities that weekend.

Below is a picture of the golfing crew, a motley crew at that! There were balls in the sand and in the weeds and a golf cart was driven into the lake! But they had a good time...even David had fun.

This is Lenny's foursome (poor Lenny!) He had his best man (Aaron who is a fabulous golfer) and his two dad's (neither or which can golf) on his team. However, they did win the tournament. I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact the most of the golfers drank their way around the course????

Thursday night was the stag/stagette party. Lenny and Kel had a bus pick up everyone at Craguns and then it was off to the bars in Brainerd. I had to include this picture of the Craguns security, lights flashing, pulling alongside the bus. Go figure the class of 2000 would be pulled over! It was too funny. And yup that would be my kid poking his nose around the bus to see what was going on.....with a beer in his hand no less.

The bride and the groom in the finest ready to party as single people one last time.

Pictures of Lenny and David trying on their tuxes Thursday. Of course Lenny looked very handsome and I have to admit....David did as well! He didn't even mind wearing it I don't think.

THE CABIN

We got the kitchen finished. The cabinets turned out very nice. We do not yet have the refrigerator moved in but I think you can get the idea.

And Tackla's new and improved pool. David made it at least twice as big and it is 6 foot deep at one end. Mikey....he got the bob cat stuck while digging this two if not more times. Stuck so bad that I had to go pull him out with the truck.

On a deer finding drive one night we spotted this great sunset shinning through the trees.

Happy Birthday Early

To my soul mate.
David celebrates 57 years on Friday and because we will be up north for the wedding I am wishing him a very happy birthday early.
On his birthday he will be playing 18 holes (yes 18 holes-David is not a golfer) of golf (on a course that has a dress code no less!) AND he will be getting fitted for his tux that he is wearing to the wedding! Anyone who knows my husband knows that he just couldn't ask for a more fun day than that....too danged funny I say!
You know, I have visions of him in his tux during the wedding supper yanking out his blue hankie and blowing his nose! Oh man it will be an experience.
Lots of love to you David, I thank my lucky stars every day that you followed me around in Cub Foods years ago in an attempt to meet me (thank goodness I took the assertive role or you may still be following me around some grocery store getting up the courage to approach me!).

It Pays To Be 50!

So I was getting a few groceries at HyVee this morning and the place was packed! As I was checking out the gal asked me if I was 50......and I said "No" with a quizzical look on my face I am sure. I then said....oh yes I am I turned 50 in November. As it turns out those of us 50 and older get a 5% discount on Mondays and Tuesdays so there! My first senior citizen discount-I saved almost $3.00. Hey Karen, better start doing your shopping at HyVee on Monday or Tuesday!

Cabin progress report-David got the engineered floor laid in our bedroom a few weeks ago. This past weekend he put the finale coat of finish on the old floors and we installed (yes I said we- I cut boards and knitted while David put the floor in!) the floor in the living room. David got 2 coats of finish on that floor. Pictures pictures!

The kitchen area. Where you see David standing is the front door. The wall that you see will be his home made cabinets. To the right is the living room. The floors and walls are original in this room.

The living room. Ash tongue and groove flooring that we installed this past weekend. The walls and ceiling in this room are pine-new pine as it is a newly added room.

Looking from the doorway across the dinning room into the living room.

Down the hall to our bedroom. To the left is the guest bedroom and to the right is the bathroom. Floor in the hall and guest room are original, walls down hallway are new pine.

Guest bedroom. Original floor and two walls are original pine. We put new pine on two walls because we tore down all of the old walls to insulate and in doing so damaged many boards....SO we didn't have enough boards to re-do the walls. The new pine is lighter in color so it helps to make the place brighter.

Our bedroom with the bed ready to be put together! New pine walls and the floor is an engineered hickory (I think it's hickory!) We have a door going outside in this room which is to the left. We also have a spot for a washer and dryer which will be oh so nice. The closet is small small small but we are downsizing dang it!

And the bath. New pine walls, new floor tile and all new everything else. We actually moved the original bath into what was one of the existing bedrooms and then added on our bedroom. The bathroom vanity is actually an old commode that we bought from our friends Mikey and Jan. We found the sink basin at a junk shop. It is actually an old bowl that David cut a hole in and made a sink out of.

So as you can see it is coming along. After the wedding this next weekend we are going to go to the cabin that next week. We should have the cabinets in the kitchen and be all moved in! There is still plenty of work to be done but it will be nice to be in the cabin as opposed to the camper.

Man Do I Feel Dumb....But.....

Just finished my series of neuro-pshyc tests and boy oh boy it was three sessions of torture! These tests were performed because of my memory and cognitive difficulties and I'm thinking I must have flunked big time because I sure enough felt stupid. I can't even think of an example of any of the questions/situations that I had no clue the answers to but sure should have I am sure.

So even though I felt dumb as a brick I do feel better in that he sees a definite pattern in regards to my ole head. He says it is definitely the left hemisphere that is mush (not his words-mine) and my ability to learn and recall has been impaired. He says it would be his guess it is from the chemo as opposed to any thing else because it is so one sided. David and I go for the full results the second week in May. Doc says I can bring anyone along with me that I would like to hear the results and I said no no no....don't need anyone else hearing how much my brain has mushed!

The process itself, although painful and humiliating, was very interesting. And really very helpful to have someone, a professional, be able to tell with testing that something is amiss....it is not my imagination. So at our next appointment I will have to ask if this can regenerate, will it deteriorate etc etc etc. Whatever-at least I am here to tell the story huh? Perhaps one day soon this will be a recognized and talked about chemo side affect. I am betting once my oncologist receives the report he will study it and be more aware.

Speaking of my onc, tomorrow he should have more information in regards to the Tamoxifen and the ovaries. He had asked some of his colleagues from Jacksonville Florida but wanted to also ask the folks at Rochester as well. He is one of those guys that really likes to know everything that he can about something before he makes a recommendation....and I guess I have really come to appreciate that. After all, this is my life he is dealing with.

In a week and a half we will gain a new daughter in law. It seems like just a year and a half ago that they were starting to plan and here we are almost to the wedding day.

Ending today with shots of the first flowers that I spotted in our gravel pit on a walk with the dogs. I think there are Lilies of the Field and Jack in the Pulpit about to bloom as well but there are way too many wood ticks out now to go back...maybe next week without the dogs I will go to get pictures of those-I don't like waking up at 2am with a tick crawling on my neck and hand!

Oh I started a new knitting class...I am now learning how to knit socks. I don't wear socks...ever even in the winter. But these are so danged nice I may just start! Pictures of my first completed pair will surely be posted on the blog. Next week I learn how to make a 'Top Down Sweater'. Fun fun fun. It may take me 6 times longer than anyone else to make something but I don't care!

So, He's Not Sonny and Cher

Craig Morgan...who in the heck is Craig Morgan?

I came across this on one of the cancer blogs that I read and thought it was good. I seriously have no clue who Craig Morgan is (I suspect you do huh Rhonda???) but I appreciate what he has to say not only in his song 'Tough' but in explaining the song.

Even though this is 'originally' about his wife who has breast cancer.....it is really about all women and how tough we really are. So ladies, stand up and be counted...we are one tough lot no matter what we have going on in our lives.

Hopefully this link will work (you may have to copy and paste it). If it does click on Studio 330 sessions and then the song tough (come on Lenny even you who probably doesn't like country music can do this!). After the song go back and click on interviews/Craig Morgan explains the song Tough.

http://www.cmt.com/artists/az/morgan_craig/videos.jhtml

On another note-spring has sprung....finally-

And there's nothing like a couple hour hike at 7 mile park with a good friend and our dogs.

And The Beat Goes On

La De Da De De-------La De Da De Da

Every time something new comes up in regards to my breast cancer this song runs through my head......you shush Lenny!

So it seems, much like a stubborn Grunst....my body is being stubborn. Stubborn has been good in that this ole bod has refused to let the bc get me so thank you very much. However, at my last oncology appointment he informed me that my body is not metabolizing the Tamoxifen very well. What the hell...why should it...it doesn't metabolize food very well either dang it. OK so I digress....anyway, the Tamox is an oral med that one takes to keep the cancer away. You take it until you are in full menopause and then you switch to a med that works for folks in menopause.

Since I seem to NOT be in full menopause (then what in the hell are all of these hot flashes about anyway I say!) the doc cannot yet switch me to one of the other meds that would hopefully be metabolized by my body thus work as it should.

He is researching a couple of options, talking with colleagues in Rochester and I suspect Jacksonville FL. One option would be to do blood work frequently and the minute it shows that I am in full menopause switch me to an alternate med...OR force those ovaries to stop working thus putting me in menopause. My cancer is estrogen fed so I really need to not be producing the stuff!

The doc seems to be leaning towards waiting and watching. Me, I tend to say yank those ovaries, who needs em. Not me at this age! Anyway, he doesn't seem all that concerned about it all so I will see what he finds out huh?

By the way, I LOVE Sonny and Cher...again you shush Lenny.

Happy Ham Eating Day To You

I know I know this is Easter and it is not ham eating day. But I love ham and that is what most traditionally have on this day. I however only get ham now at Christmas (since mom is no longer with us to make me my Easter ham)-for Christmas David's mom keeps me happily supplied with ham.

We are having beef stroganoff at our house today with homemade buns (like my momma used to make...ok ok so she didn't make them from scratch either but I did make them the way she made them and I ain't telling our secret!).

And of course during the holidays I tend to think of my mom because she was always the one that made sure we were very well fed. As I putter around my kitchen I feel her with me-hummm wonder if I make as many circles as she used to? Anyway, as you all know I am not and never have been a big baker but by golly I am pretty proud of this masterpiece. Isn't my bunny cake just cute as can be!

And I really did make it by myself-INCLUDING- the bunny pattern. This is no bunny cake pan folks so there!

Happy Easter.

Bobbi

Another Leg of My Journey

Started today. Back to Mayo for what is called an extraction. They drew 200 cc's off of each side. I no longer have rock hard melons sitting on my chest! I have to wait another 6 weeks, then go back to the plastic surgeon at which time he checks to make sure the muscle has not contracted and snapped back to the chest wall (thus closing the pocket meaning there would be no room for the REAL fake boobs). If all is well I then schedule a time for the exchange surgery-which will be beginning of June. My plastic surgeon suggested that I wait until I am finished with my Herceptin (June sometime) so that he can not only do the exchange surgery but could take out my port while I am under (otherwise my regular surgeon would take the port out during an office visit under local anesthesia). I am thinking that it sure would be nice to have it all done at once huh? I will have to ask my oncologist if he recommends taking the port out right away. Lots of folks leave them in for a year or so 'just in case'. I guess they are more difficult to put in if you need them put in a second time. It's almost unreal for me to think that this is almost done. I wonder how I will feel once I am no longer going to weekly treatments. It is you see a bit of a safety net....while doing treatments I am still actively fighting the beast. I will just have to wrap my head around the fact that there is no longer a beast to fight and enjoy no longer having weekly doctor appointments!

Cabin update-Our cabin appeared to be undisturbed last weekend which is a good thing! We did not get as far on the floor as we had hoped. For petes sake you would think with all of the remodeling that David and I have done we would know that things always take longer than you think...... We did however get the floor sanded. I ran the floor sander for two days straight, used muscles I forgot that I had! David got one coat of poly on the floor. I have decided that people who re-do floors for a living do not charge near enough for their work! My friend Mary just had hers redone and she got one hell of a deal in my opinion!

Eagles-man there were eagles everywhere last weekend up north. Not a single good photo shot was to be had though.