An interesting teleconference

In the past I have posted about the ramifications of this disease, one of which is the chemo brain that I know I have, however it is not widely recognized as a side affect as yet. I came across this Health Talk website to find that they are doing a video conference on December 19th about chemo brain. I have attached the web link if you are interested. It is free, you view it on your computer and I think it will be very interesting.
http://www.healthtalk.com/cancer/programs/14_671/index.cfm#FormTop

Well we spent last weekend at the cabin and worked too hard to even take a picture taking drive. But on the way home, at Howard Lake, I spotted this eagle sitting in the tree right on the road side. I prefer to get them in flight but this guy would not move. David even beeped his horn at him but he was sitting tight!

The cabin progresses. This past weekend David got the interior walls completed in the extra bedroom (long ago dubbed Jessica's room because she spent many weekends sitting around the campfire with us) and we started on the ceiling of that room. It will feel good to have one room actually completed. After the ceiling is up I will then strip the floor. I did strip the floor in our closet and it really looks very nice!

I have to share......I have now had three haircuts but today was the very first style. Now remember that my picture taker is David...poor David has never aspired to be a photographer! Anyway, the new do is fun. BUT I will never get it to look like this tomorrow.

And I have never aspired to be a model for god's sake!!!!! It is a good thing that I am the one behind the camera.

Much to give thanks for

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/Herceptin/BR00012

The above link is one that my daughter in law (Jen Ry's wife) sent to me. It explains the type of cancer that I have so that even I can understand it and the treatment that I am currently on-Herceptin.

I am surprised in reading this that I was able to go on Herceptin since it is now just being approved for early stage HER2 positive cancer. The article states that prior to this it was approved for people who's cancer had spread to other areas (metastatic) breast cancer. Although my cancer is (was) very aggressive it had not yet spread any further than the fatty tissue surrounding it, so thank goodness anyway for me!

I remember both the surgeon and the oncologist saying (as I am sure you do too David and Lenny) that my cancer was one of the most aggressive that there is etc etc etc but that we were lucky because of the new treatments that had just arrived.

On another note-I have two message boards that I frequent that are for those of us with breast cancer. On these boards the ladies do often post about comments that have been made to them, comments that really are quite stupid and hurtful in nature. I don't know that anyone has said anything to me that has been hurtful, and even if they had I have probably let it go because goodness knows I have said some pretty dumb things in my life to others as well.... but two things do stick in my head.

A few years back David and I had gained quite a lot of weight and were not eating very healthy at all. We both began weight watchers and started working out. After two years I lost 90 pounds. Now this was not an easy weight loss, it took lots of work and commitment. After I was diagnosed someone wondered if my weight loss was due to my cancer. Now I can understand why one would think that but this person also knew about our eating the weight watchers way, our exercise regime and knew that David had lost a lot of weight as well. So the comment was a bit irritating to me. By the way, my danged weight is on the rise again, well it has shifted I guess despite daily two mile walks....danged meds that I am on anyway....oh, could it also be the not so good eating habits that I have once again started!!!

The other was just recently. I was on my way to the northwoods and stopped to get gas. Now when I was bald, every time that I had to give someone my license so that they could verify that I was truly me, I wondered if they were going to question my identity. Some folks looked but never said a word. This younger guy did speak up saying that he wasn't sure that this was really me and he seemed hesitant about letting me use my card. Now I really was thankful that he did question me and am always glad when they ask to see ID but I guess on this day I just wanted to get to the cabin. So after his umpteenth, 'I don't know if this is really you', I said to him, 'Well cancer does that to a person'. Needless to say that was the end of it.
Compare for yourselves-
Pre-cancer ID

And a picture taken about the time that my identity was being questioned-

OK nuff said I guess I shouldn't have been crabby to the guy huh?

We became the people that we complain about

When you are deer hunting there is nothing worse than going very quietly to your stand before day break, settling in to wait for a deer to come by and oh what is that noise.....vehicles driving by wrecking your solitude! Damn. Well that was David and I this weekend and I am sure this guy was non too happy with us!

Although in our defense we drove on the well traveled logging roads only, this fella's stand was not far off of the road.

We started before daybreak driving the woods of the northland to see what we could see (having gotten our deer last weekend). At one point David wondered what was lumbering down the side of the road. It was a fox, a very large fox and it was on the wrong side of the truck for me to take a picture of it. I gave the camera to David hoping that he could get a good picture. After all this fox was walking right towards us not a bit afraid.......DON'T ever give a husband the camera and expect that he will get a good picture. I was able to use this one thanks to the capabilities of photo shop.

All over in this particular area hardy hunters spend their hunting nights in campers in the woods. The first year that I saw this I couldn't believe it. It gets danged cold up there this time of year and I want running water when I camp. But many hunters seem to enjoy roughing it. This camp even had a make shift outhouse alongside the camper.

Yesterday we traveled a road we had not been on before. No wildlife but double lakes behind the trees made for a nice picture on a cloudy day.

This morning was beautiful and I hope that I was able to catch that first of the morning frost.

Now Mikey where are you when I need you. I mean I cannot possibly give my husband the grief that he so deserves as well as you do! Here is a story you will appreciate- David left for the northwoods very early on Thursday morning pulling the large trailer loaded with stuff AND my four wheeler. As I had treatment on Thursday I went up later in the day. Before I left I received a call from David asking me to keep a lookout for my fourwheeler seat......when he arrived at our property he had a fourwheeler minus it's seat. Apparently, SOMEHOW, it had come off when he had gone over some bump or another. Needless to say I did not see it on my way up and we both figured that we would be dishing out a couple hundred dollars for a new seat. When David got home today, in his hand he had my four wheeler seat. Believe it or not he had found it in the ditch right outside of StPeter. Unbelievable and only my husband! There he is happy as can be that he doesn't have to dig deep into his pockets to replace the seat of my four wheeler!

These are red pine logs that David picked up this weekend from a friend who does tree removal. Some day he will make something with them.....wonder what it will be?

Too be announced I guess. Those that know my husband can be sure that he will come up something.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all.

A big surprise it was indeed!

So as my 50th birthday was approaching the thought rumbled around in my head, 'Gee it would be fun if my husband put together a surprise party'. I love nothing more than a good surprise and after all I threw him one when he turned 50! So as the day grew closer and no party seemed to be coming I let the thought and my small tad of disappointment go.

On a walk one day my neighbor Chrissy asked me if we wanted to go to Hermies for supper for my and her husband's birthday (Brent's is the day before mine). I said sure and when I asked David he thought it would be OK although he was going to go hunting that night so would have to meet us there. I asked my other neighbor and friend Jessica if she would like to join us. She was a bit hesitant saying that she would but wasn't sure how long she would be staying, may go to her favorite bar after supper etc..... Anyway, my point here is that everyone played their part so danged well that I had not clue one that anything was going on! The day of my birthday in fact I kept running things that people had said to me threw my little head knowing that because they had said this or that that meant that nope my husband really didn't think to have a party. In fact when we drove up to the parking lot I commented on how many cars were there. Jess wondered if they had a band. I said I hoped not because then poor David would really have trouble hearing what was being said.

I remember walking in and first seeing my aunts and uncles and my jaw dropped, as I kept looking around my jaw kept dropping. The biggest drop I think was in seeing Lenny and Kelly who were SUPPOSED to be in Michigan for a football game. I had in fact brought my cell into Hermies thinking, ' They will call to wish me a happy birthday'. But here they were in person. My first thought was guilt at them having canceled their trip because they felt they HAD to be at the party. Come to find out they had decided not to go over a month ago and had kept it a secret that long. Neither one a very good fibbers and I really don't know how they did it! I think that Kelly may have been the brainchild for the party.

So you guys you did a great job and I had a great time. Thanks to my wonderful as always husband, Lenny and Kelly, Chrissy and Jessica and anyone else who made phone calls to people. And to all who came to help me celebrate yet another milestone in my life. And to those who could not be here but helped me celebrate by thinking of me.

This next picture is of my uncle Dood (my godfather) who everyone knows is so tight he squeaks. He not only took the time to come to the party (also had a wedding of a good friend of his to go to) but he brought a card......that contained money!! If my cousin Lisa reads this she will understand my surprise! It was too funny.

My Uncle Dood is in his 80s and rides a Harley. Pretty incredible huh? My Uncle Ed (who reminds me so much of my mom) and his wife Sandy and my Aunt Etta and her husband Rog were there as was my pop.

And I should also mention that David's daughter Rachel and her husband Melvin came home with a surprise last week. They are expecting their first baby!

So Jean this post is for you because you check this blog daily and email me when I don't post...haha.

Thought for today-You don't have to turn 50 to reach a milestone. Each and every day contains milestones. Recognize them and celebrate them.

And in a card that I received Saturday- I believe in God only I spell it Nature.

As of today I am an official AARP card carrying member!

Yes it's true, today I turned 50. I received a card from my good friend Jan who says that life in the 50's is the best. I guess I will have to believe her as she has been doing it for quite a few years now (couldn't resist Jan!)

For the past couple of hours I have been sitting here drinking my coffee and thinking about when I was a kid. By the way, what is it about this memory thing? I mean, I can remember events from when I was small but can't remember things that happened two years ago or what I had for supper last night! I've been blaming it on chemo and the rest but now I have a double reason don't I....I AM 50.

The other day I had a curl (my first to return) spring up on the back of me head. The damned thing is just totally flipped up and unruly-much like my pre-chemo hair was. This very first curl reminded me of when I was young and used to wash my hair and then go to bed with what we called then- a granny cap- plastered on my head. I did this in hopes of straightening my hair. Well what I woke up to was straight hair down to the point where the ends of my hair hung out of the granny cap. These ends were flipped up just like my one little curl is now. What the hell....At 50 do we start reverting back to our child hood????

And another memory of my having wonderful long hair (this was in about kindergarten I think) down to the middle of my back which was of course very curly. Mom had no patience for combing my hair because it of course knotted like crazy with all of those curls. AND I was not very cooperative in the combing department. I do remember lots of ouches probably being screamed! There came a day when mom told me she had made an appointment to get my hair cut, I am thinking this is a trim like all the others. NOT. What I got much to my dismay was a pixy. That was a cut much like what I have now (OK perhaps a bit longer but not much!) and they called them pixies. Oh my was I pissed...Oh I was mad at her..... Poor mom.

One year not too long ago (or maybe it was quite a few years ago who's to say......) David and I were talking with mom and dad about the old days and I made the comment that I didn't remember ever having birthday cakes when I was a kid. Mom decided that I would never again go without a birthday cake and every year she made me an angel food cake for my birthday. My last momma birthday cake was in 2004 and I hadn't had one since....until along comes Kelly into our lives (Lenny's fiance) who this year made me a raspberry cheescake for our little celebration. OK now Kel, you have big shoes to fill.....I expect to have a cake every year of some sort!

Oh boy here's a memory for you. Remember the May Day's of our youth? We would do up these may baskets, take them to our friend's houses, knock on the door and run away (Deb this would be when I lived in your neighborhood). So, as I remember it, if you put one at a favorite boy's door and he caught you he was to give you a little smooch. I had a favorite boy in front of who's door I placed a May basket, rang the bell and ran. BUT I didn't run too far and certainly not very fast hoping he would catch me. Damned he didn't even look for me! What the heck was up with that anyway! Shoot Deb I don't even remember who it was just that I did it....who lived across the street from you guys. It seems to me that's where he lived.

I have another friend who is only a few hours older than I am. Jo B was born just before midnight on the 10th and along came me just after midnight on the 11th. Her mom and my mom were good friends and I spent a ton of time at their house as a kid. Jo not only sent me one card, she sent me two. In my card to her I wondered if the age had gotten to her as well...had she forgotten that she had already sent me a card? Anyway, the second card that she sent made me do a double take. It has two grey haired ladies riding in a convertible with funky looking glasses on and their arms up and the breeze blowing through their hair and their saggy arms. To me this looks like her mom (who is still with us) and my mom. Her mom being at the wheel. It may not totally resemble the two of them in features, but if you knew them both you would see the resemblance. Here it is, judge for yourself-

Yup that's mom and Jackie to be sure.

I told the three ladies that I was with yesterday that I was going to blog what we had done and I really do have to make good on my threat. These three, Jess, Jo and Jean, had a BIG day out planned.......they were going to go the the Fleet Farm in Owatona. For god's sake who in the hell does a day outting to go to the Fleet Farm? They invited me along and I went just knowing that it was going to be a day of laughter and it was. I am still amazed that we made a day to go to the Fleet Farm......and on the first real snowstorm that we had. It was an adventure and was fun.....life's little pleasures.

Message for today this day of my being an official card carrying AARP member....enjoy the little pleasures that come your way. Like this deer that I caught in my camera in the northland

There's something about getting together with friends, spending your days in the woods and evenings playing cards, that is just hard to beat. David, Lenny and I just returned from the northland and our annual deer hunt with the Steve D and Dave F families.

The weather and moon were not helpful in the hunt (danged deer were running all night long and bedded down during the day) but I did get a few pictures that I will share. Mikey I have to tell you that David AGAIN almost got me lost in that very same woods that he took all of us to this summer. Not only did he almost get us lost but he almost got us stuck. In fact the truck was burried in a mud hole up to the top of the passenger tire!

On our way up (we left home at 6am) we caught a beautiful sunrise and as you can see the snow geese were enjoying it as well.

The sun rising outside of our cabin window on opening day.

And on that same day the sun as it sets.

Message for today-take the time to enjoy a sunrise or sunset. Just take the time..........

She Was Taken From Us On 11-3-06

You gave us joy

You gave us entertainment

You gave us your loyalty

You stole our hearts

You laid beside us when we were ill

More gently than most knew you could be

You brought us through difficult times

And protected us as only you could

You were a great companion

An independent thinker

You enriched our lives

You will be missed

In loving memory of Pixie

Memories-etched deep in the pages of our minds:

Sweet memories........

Man oh man what I see outside of our front window!

It's not the great pumpin Charlie Brown but.....

This morning we had about 30 turkeys come to the bird feeders. They do come two or three times a day but today a nice big tom was with them and here he is-

Now, the great thing about a digital camera is that you can shoot loads of pictures not having to worry about the cost of film. The bad thing, for me, is that I have a real difficult time deleting any picture that I have shot unless it is really bad! So there I sat this morning shooting tons of pictures of the group of turkeys that were in the yard and in the bird feeders. Here's a few-

The first time that I realized that we had turkeys coming in I was backing my car out of the garage when something HUGE came flying across the hood. There was not only one but many and they scared the crap out of me!

Tackla, our big dog, is so well trained that she can be laying on the deck, the turkeys will come, and she does not go after them. Peeko is getting to that point but is taking a bit longer. He is more willfull and deliberate! However, you put a squirrel in the feeder and there is no stopping them. Here are some window shots that I have gotten of the squirrels-

Our squirrels are very fat and happy.....

Loving to bury their corn and peanuts in not only our yard but in our neighbor's yards!

The other day David looked out to see a hawk sitting outside the window on a log-

And then there is this picture of the masked racoon family that came to the feeders during the night. We knew that the racoons were coming to the feeders becuase the dogs had been barking. On this night I stepped outside the front door, turned on the outside light and here they were.

And the various birds-

We also get Orioles and Hummingbirds but boy they are hard to get pictures of.

On this last day of October-the month of breast cancer awareness I am going to close with the latest picture of that wonderful bunch of roses that David surprised me with last week. the flowers are fully opened and they are still very pretty. Thank you all who have supported finding a cure for breast cancer. And thank those of you who have always been a support to me. Good friends are hard to find and I must say I do have some.

Message for today: Enjoy what you have right outside of your window.

Talk about a deer caught in the headlights......

While setting up the stelth cam in our woods he must have wanted to see if it works or some danged thing or another. Now I love my husband BUT...I would much rather see pictures of the deer in the woods....Our friend Mikey will appreciate this one!

The shed is in progress. It was a bit more work I suspect than they thought it would be and they didnt have the crew that they had hoped. Now I think I understand why things dont get done as quickly in the northwoods as it may in other parts of this state. I mean absolutly no disrespect to anyone who lives in that area (heck we will be residents soon) but it is more of a laid back attitude and what doesnt get done today MAY get done tomorrow. Come to think about it it is a way of life that more of us should adopt, certainly is less stressful. So, below are a few pictures of the garage/shed/place for David to put stuff/ in progress. The roof will be green and when it is completed it will be nice. The first picture shows the where the shed will sitin relation to the cabin. This is taken from the woods looking at our bedroom. The second picture is of the opposite side of the shed.

David and I and Peeko took a walk in the woods one afternoon. Even though it was mostly cloudy and the woods are not colorful this time of year, you can always find something to take a picture of if you are just patient and keep your eyes open. I caught these as the sun was poking out.

This is my favorite time of year in the woods. I love being able to see through the trees, love the crispness in the air. The next picture is of an old boat that is in our woods. When we finally get the 'junk' cleaned out of the woods this boat will go as well. If it didnt have trees growning out of it I would save it and have it placed in our yard somewhere.

This past weekend, as the crew worked on the garage, David got some work done in the cabin. He trimmed out the living room and started on our bedroom. We were able to get stuff cleaned out of the living room so that I could take a picture of it. This picture shows the wood walls and vaulted ceiling. The cabin is small but our hope is to 'minimize' and live with less than we THINK we need currently. Oh and by the way, this is also the room that will be my hunting shack next weekend! Nice huh?

While David was working inside I was enjoying myself outside making do with what we had. We were staying in a hotel (cabin is not yet heated and ready for cold weather living) and really didnt want to eat out every night. So I kept a roaring campfire going, cooked the garage workers lunch and I cooked us up our suppers that we took back to the hotel and warmed up in the microwave. As I was doing this I thought of my mom lots. It is just the sort of thing that she would have loved doing. I am sure that she was there with me while I was happily stoking the fire. I still miss her everyday but I am now able to smile when I think about her as opposed to the sadness that once overcame me. I find myself doing something or saying a particular phrase ofrmaking a particular gesture and I think my goodness that is just what mom would have said or done. I have become my mother's daughter that is for sure and I am damned proud of it.

Speaking of becoming my mother's daughter, I am posting some pictures of my mother's grandson. He is sooooo like her. These are a few engagement pictures that he and Kelly (his fiance) had taken at Minnehaha Falls. The first one is so Lenny. Jeans frayed at the bottom and sandals.

I love the presentation of the next picture. Something about the stone wall that just really makes this nice.

I am closing today with a picture of two pumpkins that were harvested from our pumpkin patch. Lenny called me one day wanting to know if I had fed the pumpkins steriods! Apparantly they are very thick on the inside, lots of meat. Now dont think that they are so talented that they can carve those pumpkins so perfectly on their own....nope they used stencils...haha. But they do look very nice dont they my steriod pumpkins.

Enjoy and celebrate each and every day of your life.